Quote:
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Originally Posted by Judy Taber
"You just choose not to..."
Do you realize how difficult that is? All the human suffering in all the history of mankind could most likely be avoided if people could follow those 5 little words.
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Yes, I know how difficult it is, and yes, you're exactly right that suffering could be avoided if people could follow those words.
However, I stand by it. Your emotions are, to a large extent, the results of cognitive processes that are under your control. And sometimes those cognitive processes are, to be blunt, fucked up. We think they're logical, but they're not. For example: "because X happened to me once before, it WILL happen to me again and I have to do everything in my power to prevent X from happening again." It spawns all kinds of little sub-processes (like "this girl likes me...if I ask her out again we might really like each other and then she'll cheat on me: OH NO!! That's "X" happening again! Run away!") and the more you can identify and alter those subprocesses, the more power you'll have over the unwanted emotions they generate and support.
Sorry if this sounds very clinical, but it's the best way I've found to break down a cognitive and emotional barrier I'm "done with." I've used it to trash a number of "stories" about myself and my life that were damaging - like "I'm unlovable" and "I'm ugly" and blah blah blah. It's hard, but if you're willing to do what it takes to be in control of your own emotional state, it's totally fucking worth it.