|
You've fallen prey to one of the biggest fallacies there is - in relationships, in life in general - namely, that the pain you fear (PYF) as a result of opening up and getting hurt > the small pain and loneliness you're going through in your head right now because of avoiding the potential PYF. You're trying to avoid being miserable by being miserable. Crazy, no? This girl cheated on you (which, oddly enough, probably had less to do with you than with her) 3 & 1/2 YEARS AGO and you're still condemning yourself to suffer through it. Time to cut it out and MOVE ON!
So: how do you do that?
You go out and take risks. The next time you feel yourself "intentionally closing up" you just choose not to. You listen to the voice in your head that says "never again" and thank it for sharing and trying to keep you safe, and go on about your business enjoying the company of the person you're with. It might take some practice, but you have to just be willing to be done with the way you're doing things now and keep practicing! Good luck.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
|