Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
Okay, ditching him is extreme. I think if you want change that is more constructive, think of it this way: your husband's shopping habits could be a symptom of a deeper problem. It is possible he's shopping as a way to fill a gap in his life. Of course, the shopping will only fill the gap for a day before he needs to fill it again. Maybe you should help him find a way to get more satisfaction out of life. Is there anything you know he likes but doesn't do anymore? Most people with damaging shopping habits are like that, and they need to realize the value of the simpler things in life. He needs to unplug from the consumer society perpetuated on TV and in billboards? Does he watch too much TV.
|
It's interesting that you say that; he used to have a passion for woodworking. He made the kids' high chairs and desks and a quilt rack, a clock, 3 window mirrors..even made things for friends, just charging them bare minimum and every Christmas we'd make things as gifts-he'd build them and I would finish and paint them.
Now he comes home from work, turns on the tv and dozes til dinner, goes to whatever store, comes home, dozes again in front of the tv. When I suggest going out to his shop and do something, it's always too cold, too hot, tables are covered in too much junk, etc. He recently made two mirrors and could make a few more(people love them), sell them, but doesn't. He started making new porch steps last summer-they're still in the shop unfinished.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by DDDDave
Your original thread title was 'Income < Outgo' ...
First, BTDT. It is no simpler than 'I either need to spend less, or make more'.
I had to decide - do I want to cut back and not have/do the things I want or do I work harder/smarter to make more money. I chose the latter. You are agonizing over ways to save $100. but you(or especially hubby) could probably find a way to make an extra $100. a month. Some overtime at the current job, or helping out a friend who works on nights or weekends. (You will have to get creative).
I don't want this to sound all preachy but you guys need to decide how it's going to be. Are you going to struggle forever or are you going to try harder to make more and make a better life. It is not easy. Not by any means. The decision will not come without a lot of soul searching. Pride goeth before the fall. It kind of sounds counter-intuitive but the harder you work the easier things will be.
I mean this sincerely, Good Luck, and I wish you well.
|
Thanks.
I've changed my own habits a lot. No longer a shoe nut nor a clothes hound, I've gone from Liz Claiborne and Chaus to Walmart and the Target clearance rack and freebie tshirts. If I or the kids need something, my motto is "Full price-NEVER"(even then, the kids use gift cards from Christmas, birthdays, etc to shop for clothes). And I give my son some of the freebie shirts while I'm wearing clothes he outgrew. The spouse has never been a clothes hound either, he buys things for the house, for the cars, the workshop-but never plans on any of it, just goes and swipes the debit card. It's that $20 here, $15 there that's killing us because it's so frequent. Even a trip to MacDonalds is another swipe(even if there's food in the house).
He doesn't have work enough to get OT, unfortunately, and I work part time, which can go from a low of 15 hours a week to a high of 35...I've been jobhunting; I also sell artwork at shows and a gallery and online, but if I can do $100 a month, it's a good month. A recent show I did I netted just over $300 for that weekend, but that's few and far between. And some always goes back to supplies.
We don't vacation or entertain any more or even go out to dinner unless it's Wendy's. While we have creature comforts in the way of computers, etc.(mine being 5 years old and his being a bartered laptop), we're pretty down to basics now and can't even afford to replace the porch railings that rotted and fell apart. And it's things like that that I worry about-the house repairs, a refridgerator that's 25 years old and his car needs repairs-these are things I have to put off, along with some bills, because there's no way to pay for them.
This week and for the (hopefully) next few, I will not be putting any of my checks into the joint account. I am going to try using them as house cash and deposits into the savings; I figure that in this way, there will be no transactions in the checking that are mine and he will have to see where it's going because they'll all be his and bills only. And he will be told that any store trips, take the house cash, exactly what he needs. I'm crossing my fingers....