Income<Outgo - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ngdawg · 06-02-2007, 12:04 PM

I need suggestions as I'm at my wits' end....
To summarize:
Monthly income: approx. 3200
Bills: approx. 2600, not including gas, food, etc.
Biggest problem: Spouse's addiction to his debit and credit cards.
Five months after refinancing everything, he's managed to charge his way to over the credit limit(10,000). Let me be clear, he did not charge this entire amount; about $3k was small store cards paid off, art supplies and sundry items. What he has been doing is filling up his gas tank a couple times a week, always with the card, so while I've been paying maybe $50 a week on it, he's been spending twice that.
The debit card is giving me indigestion. He never carries cash-always uses the card. Cigs, toiletries, trips to Home Depot, all with the debit card, using up the checking account. And he doesn't write these in, so while I think we have X amount of money in it, we don't.
So.....first, how do I change both our habits? I can save pretty well and do when there's a goal to obtain, but I can't get him to do the same thing. "Did you put money away for this?" "No, I'll just go to the MAC". ARGGHH!!! As a result, all the money I'd been saving has been eaten up trying to keep up with bills.
I thought being down to just one CC would help, but it only took 5 months to be right back into the mire. I've had it...visions of smashing him over the head with a bat keep popping up....

Jetée · 06-02-2007, 12:32 PM

Make sure it is not one with cork inside. He'll get up quickly.

Willravel · 06-02-2007, 12:56 PM

Separate debit cards. My wife and I do this, and we each have become responsible spenders (as opposed to 2 years ago when we were splurgers). We're both much happier. We have like 5 accounts total: college for the little one, savings, joint checking, his and hers checking. It's up to you how you want to alocate funds into each of your accounts, but if you can both agree on something, and you don't have access to his card or him to yours except in an emergency, then you might be better off.

eribrav · 06-02-2007, 05:25 PM

It sounds like a lot of his spending is on gasoline.
Is that for commuting to work?
If it is then whether he charges it or pays up front you're still in the same hole.
There's only a few truly "discretionary" items you have listed.
So, what are the cigarettes worth to you?

Martian · 06-02-2007, 06:15 PM

It may help if you swap that cc balance to another card as well. If he exceeded the credit limit then you've probably lost any intro APR (assuming you had one) and may want to look into switching to a card with a 0% teaser rate. A little birdie told me that BofA has a few cards that might be able to fit the bill for you, particularly the Worldpoints mastercard; but then, if you have a preferred bank you want to go with, use them instead. Just remember that most banks won't let you transfer from one of their own cards and lopk out for the bt and disloyalty fees that you may get smacked with.

I encounter folks quite regularly who do this constantly to help get rid of their balances. When one intro rate expires they roll the balance to a new card with a new intro rate and close the old account. It's a bit of extra work, but depending on what APR you're paying you could easily save thousands in the end.

Also, if the spouse is spending so much money on gas, you may want to look into getting a card specifically for that purpose. The problem here of course is that the gas is really necessary spending (unless your spouse is prone to doing a lot of driving with no destination,) so there's not really much you can do about it. I know there's a card you can get through AAA that offers a rebate on gas purchases, something like that may be a good idea.

Aside from that, I'd say it's time to sit down and take a look at your bills. Break your expenses down and figure out exactly what is necessary and what isn't. If you have any extra channels in your satellite/cable package, any extras on the phone you can do without, things like that can add up to a significant portion of your monthly expenses. We usually fall into the salesman's trap of 'it's ONLY $9.95/month' (being a salesman myself, I know how well this one works), but then we have $9.95 here and $9.95 there and before we know it we're in debt up to our eyeballs.

ngdawg · 06-02-2007, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eribrav

It sounds like a lot of his spending is on gasoline.
Is that for commuting to work?
If it is then whether he charges it or pays up front you're still in the same hole.
There's only a few truly "discretionary" items you have listed.
So, what are the cigarettes worth to you?

Most of the gas is for commuting-about 35 miles a day. But he's also a Target and Home Depot devotee, goes 4-5 times a week. He also takes our daughter to dance classes 3 nights a week, for which I told him use my car when I'm home. I don't use it much-$20 in gas lasts me 2 weeks most times. But so far, he hasn't taken it.
The cigs are $70 a week from a reservation for the two of us, about 1/3 of what it'd cost from local stores. I want to quit, have to quit, but haven't made the effort and this stress ain't helping! SInce his are always cheaper, I take some of those to make mine last longer.
Groceries run about $100 for two weeks; we haven't eaten steak in two years. Household stuff maybe $40 a week-detergent, toilet paper, etc. I used to get those things at Sam's club about once every 6 weeks-I'm thinking about doing that again. I'm an avid coupon user but he doesn't look for what he needs before getting it-I have to catch him and tell him to get coupons.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

It may help if you swap that cc balance to another card as well. If he exceeded the credit limit then you've probably lost any intro APR (assuming you had one) and may want to look into switching to a card with a 0% teaser rate. A little birdie told me that BofA has a few cards that might be able to fit the bill for you, particularly the Worldpoints mastercard; but then, if you have a preferred bank you want to go with, use them instead. Just remember that most banks won't let you transfer from one of their own cards and lopk out for the bt and disloyalty fees that you may get smacked with.

I encounter folks quite regularly who do this constantly to help get rid of their balances. When one intro rate expires they roll the balance to a new card with a new intro rate and close the old account. It's a bit of extra work, but depending on what APR you're paying you could easily save thousands in the end.

The card we have is a AAA Visa at 10.9% that we've had for 20 years. I tried doing transfers with offered cards, but had gotten into a hole(didn't cut them up) so that makes me leery now. When we refinanced everything-2 mortgages, my student loans and this credit card-I then used its checks to pay off 2 other cards and a Target card-about $3k total. I also used it to get the camera and lens I needed, about $950. As I did, I would pay about $60 or more each week toward the balance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

Also, if the spouse is spending so much money on gas, you may want to look into getting a card specifically for that purpose. The problem here of course is that the gas is really necessary spending (unless your spouse is prone to doing a lot of driving with no destination,) so there's not really much you can do about it. I know there's a card you can get through AAA that offers a rebate on gas purchases, something like that may be a good idea.

This card gives 2c back on the dollar-he had started using it for gas last summer when prices spiked. When they went back down, he went between cash and the card, but the past few months it's been just the card again and it's about $70 a week from what I've seen-more than I'm able to pay out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

Aside from that, I'd say it's time to sit down and take a look at your bills. Break your expenses down and figure out exactly what is necessary and what isn't. If you have any extra channels in your satellite/cable package, any extras on the phone you can do without, things like that can add up to a significant portion of your monthly expenses. We usually fall into the salesman's trap of 'it's ONLY $9.95/month' (being a salesman myself, I know how well this one works), but then we have $9.95 here and $9.95 there and before we know it we're in debt up to our eyeballs.

Yea, our very basic phone bill of $8.95 is really almost $20. We just this week switched to DSL from cable which will save about $25 a month and when the kids start summer break, $30 a week won't be spent on lunch.
Beginning last November, I'd been banking anything over $120 of my paycheck and in less than 5 months had saved over $1400-that included monies made from sales of my poster. Tax refunds of over $2000 also went in. Now the account is back down to about $500, I have shows coming up for which I need supplies and fees, so it'll be going down even more....*sigh*
Last month, his insurance deduction climbed $40 a week and his boss gave him a raise for half that. I also told him he needs to reduce his 401k contribution by half, but we don't know the date he can do that yet-that'd add about $20 a week as well and bring his take-home back to where it was before the insurance increase.
Would it be wise to start a weekly cash allowance? Before debit cards were around, we did this.
Willravel-personally I like the idea of separate accounts, but everything is in both our names. How is it decided who is responsible for what? Our mortgage alone is $1800, his take home is $2800, mine is varied, but about $150 a week on average. Should I have a 'house account' that covers groceries, etc., perhaps? Or just stick mine in a separate checking and try to rebuild the savings? He doesn't touch the savings, although his name is on it-he leaves the 'money stuff' to me and just debits to his heart's content, even though he sees the checkbook.

snowy · 06-03-2007, 03:50 PM

Obviously, it's not a problem of you not being wise about what's being spent, and where, but him. So separate checking accounts seems like the way to go.

Personally, I have three bank accounts: one bricks-and-mortar checking account, one online checking account, and one online savings account. I use the first checking account for day-to-day discretionary spending, the second for household expenses (Costco/laundry). Splitting up your accounts makes good sense. That way you will worry less about his spending.

StellaLuna · 06-03-2007, 05:06 PM

Get a joint household account going- make sure that money goes into it from both of you to cover those expenses like mortgage, utilities, food, etc., and have your own discretionary checking accounts. I wish I had done the same-- a lot of arguments could have been avoided.

Sultana · 06-03-2007, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StellaLuna

Get a joint household account going- make sure that money goes into it from both of you to cover those expenses like mortgage, utilities, food, etc., and have your own discretionary checking accounts. I wish I had done the same-- a lot of arguments could have been avoided.

Exactly! On all accounts.

We have a joint household account, and personal accounts. We figured out alllll of our joint bills, split them in half, and have that much deposited into the account. Had to average out the variable bills like elec, but we averaged out the last 12 months and use that as our base.

We also averaged out our food costs and actually use a completely separate joint account for that (different reasons, it just works for us).

All other overflow (after retirement savings and such) goes into the personal accounts, and all personal bills (to whatever point you want, we go so far as to pay for our own drycleaning and Rx's and haircuts, ec. ) and costs come out of here.

I highly HIGHLY recommend it, I wish to god I had done this years ago.

Baraka_Guru · 06-03-2007, 05:58 PM

No matter how you set up accounts, your husband's habits need to change or you'll never have substantial savings. If he keeps going on as he does, there'll be nothing going into your special, independent savings account outside of your $150/week, if you can even manage that. It's all about income minus expenses. Divy it up all you want, if nothing changes, things will stay the same. Home Depot 4 to 5 times a week? I don't even go to a coffee shop that often.

Random factoid:

Quote:

Assuming an annual interest rate of 9%, and paying the minimum monthly payment on $3,000 of credit card debt, it could take you approximately 50 years, and result in interest payments equaling $1,500. You would be paying 50% more than if you had paid cash!

Source: http://www.debtsteps.com/credit-card-debt-facts.html

ngdawg · 06-03-2007, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana

Exactly! On all accounts.

We have a joint household account, and personal accounts. We figured out alllll of our joint bills, split them in half, and have that much deposited into the account. Had to average out the variable bills like elec, but we averaged out the last 12 months and use that as our base.

We also averaged out our food costs and actually use a completely separate joint account for that (different reasons, it just works for us).

All other overflow (after retirement savings and such) goes into the personal accounts, and all personal bills (to whatever point you want, we go so far as to pay for our own drycleaning and Rx's and haircuts, ec. ) and costs come out of here.

I highly HIGHLY recommend it, I wish to god I had done this years ago.

Funny thing is, we did this when we started living together-each put 2/3 of our pay into the joint account, other 3rd was our own. It was equitable since he made more than I-still does, but now all of it goes into the checking except what I was able to scrounge away. Now I can't even do that.
Last summer, I told him to take $60 out on payday each week; he did for about a month or so, then it was 'couldn't get to the bank' or 'I forgot' and I got complacent and didn't push it.
Since most banks want a minimum to start an account, I'm thinking about using my weekly checks for petty house cash and rest into savings, then once a month I can take what's needed from that for my bills-Kohl's, the Visa, etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

No matter how you set up accounts, your husband's habits need to change or you'll never have substantial savings. If he keeps going on as he does, there'll be nothing going into your special, independent savings account outside of your $150/week, if you can even manage that. It's all about income minus expenses. Divy it up all you want, if nothing changes, things will stay the same. Home Depot 4 to 5 times a week? I don't even go to a coffee shop that often.

This is the hard part. I don't want to treat him like a 5 year old and demand he hand over the debit card, but the thought is crossing my mind.
Yea, Target, Home Depot, even the dollar store-he loves to shop for shit. Say in passing we need a box of tissues and he's out the door and $40 later, home with stuff he 'noticed we need'. So, in addition to buying more soap, more snacks, etc., he's driving in the car he says he needs to fill up every 5 days...
I notice the married ones say they have separate accounts. Was this always this way? Was there some aversion or insult if it was a change to how you handled money?
I cook for the 4 of us the nights I don't work, so I do the groceries(only spent $43 today for about 4 or 5 meals-tomorrow I'm making 3 meatloafs so actually bought 8 meals.) Should I hand over the joint checking and the major bills to him as if it was his account and contribute enough to cover them? I could then use the savings as mine....something tells me that would be like handing a lighter to a child and saying don't play with it, knowing a catastrophe could strike. How do I approach this without bruising an ego? Saying "we're not doing well here" is not sinking in at all.

spindles · 06-03-2007, 09:14 PM

Personally, my wife and I have a single bank account. She is a "housewife" for want of a better term - looking after the boys is a full time job any (it just doesn't pay well).

She is responsible for the day to day expenses, and we almost exclusively use cash for day to day things.

We don't have a credit card at all, though we do have a joint Amex account (big difference is you have to pay off the balance every month). This is purely for convenience, and both of us know we can't buy anything big on this without discussing it first.

If my wife was spending like a drunken sailor, I'd tell her, but with the numbers to prove it. It is a pretty simple economic truth - you can't survive spending more than you earn.

Maybe you think this isn't the best time to give up the ciggies - seems to me it is the perfect time, from a financial POV.

cyklone · 06-03-2007, 10:06 PM

Sultana's suggestion is the one I have seen work the best time and time again, or if he will allow you to police him, take away his credit cards and you allot him so much cash per day. Failing that, eliminate the source of the problem. Ditch him. If he can't be fiscally responsible now, how are you going to manage when it is just his income and you are trying to raise the kids.

ngdawg · 06-03-2007, 10:10 PM

Can't afford to ditch him!! He doesn't make enough to sustain THIS house, let alone a second place to live! Well, he does...if he'd stay home and not spend...

Baraka_Guru · 06-04-2007, 04:06 AM

Okay, ditching him is extreme. I think if you want change that is more constructive, think of it this way: your husband's shopping habits could be a symptom of a deeper problem. It is possible he's shopping as a way to fill a gap in his life. Of course, the shopping will only fill the gap for a day before he needs to fill it again. Maybe you should help him find a way to get more satisfaction out of life. Is there anything you know he likes but doesn't do anymore? Most people with damaging shopping habits are like that, and they need to realize the value of the simpler things in life. He needs to unplug from the consumer society perpetuated on TV and in billboards? Does he watch too much TV.

DDDDave · 06-04-2007, 11:40 AM

Your original thread title was 'Income < Outgo' ...

First, BTDT. It is no simpler than 'I either need to spend less, or make more'.

I had to decide - do I want to cut back and not have/do the things I want or do I work harder/smarter to make more money. I chose the latter. You are agonizing over ways to save $100. but you(or especially hubby) could probably find a way to make an extra $100. a month. Some overtime at the current job, or helping out a friend who works on nights or weekends. (You will have to get creative).

I don't want this to sound all preachy but you guys need to decide how it's going to be. Are you going to struggle forever or are you going to try harder to make more and make a better life. It is not easy. Not by any means. The decision will not come without a lot of soul searching. Pride goeth before the fall. It kind of sounds counter-intuitive but the harder you work the easier things will be.

I mean this sincerely, Good Luck, and I wish you well.

ngdawg · 06-04-2007, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Okay, ditching him is extreme. I think if you want change that is more constructive, think of it this way: your husband's shopping habits could be a symptom of a deeper problem. It is possible he's shopping as a way to fill a gap in his life. Of course, the shopping will only fill the gap for a day before he needs to fill it again. Maybe you should help him find a way to get more satisfaction out of life. Is there anything you know he likes but doesn't do anymore? Most people with damaging shopping habits are like that, and they need to realize the value of the simpler things in life. He needs to unplug from the consumer society perpetuated on TV and in billboards? Does he watch too much TV.

It's interesting that you say that; he used to have a passion for woodworking. He made the kids' high chairs and desks and a quilt rack, a clock, 3 window mirrors..even made things for friends, just charging them bare minimum and every Christmas we'd make things as gifts-he'd build them and I would finish and paint them.
Now he comes home from work, turns on the tv and dozes til dinner, goes to whatever store, comes home, dozes again in front of the tv. When I suggest going out to his shop and do something, it's always too cold, too hot, tables are covered in too much junk, etc. He recently made two mirrors and could make a few more(people love them), sell them, but doesn't. He started making new porch steps last summer-they're still in the shop unfinished.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDDDave

Your original thread title was 'Income < Outgo' ...

First, BTDT. It is no simpler than 'I either need to spend less, or make more'.

I had to decide - do I want to cut back and not have/do the things I want or do I work harder/smarter to make more money. I chose the latter. You are agonizing over ways to save $100. but you(or especially hubby) could probably find a way to make an extra $100. a month. Some overtime at the current job, or helping out a friend who works on nights or weekends. (You will have to get creative).

I don't want this to sound all preachy but you guys need to decide how it's going to be. Are you going to struggle forever or are you going to try harder to make more and make a better life. It is not easy. Not by any means. The decision will not come without a lot of soul searching. Pride goeth before the fall. It kind of sounds counter-intuitive but the harder you work the easier things will be.

I mean this sincerely, Good Luck, and I wish you well.

Thanks.
I've changed my own habits a lot. No longer a shoe nut nor a clothes hound, I've gone from Liz Claiborne and Chaus to Walmart and the Target clearance rack and freebie tshirts. If I or the kids need something, my motto is "Full price-NEVER"(even then, the kids use gift cards from Christmas, birthdays, etc to shop for clothes). And I give my son some of the freebie shirts while I'm wearing clothes he outgrew. The spouse has never been a clothes hound either, he buys things for the house, for the cars, the workshop-but never plans on any of it, just goes and swipes the debit card. It's that $20 here, $15 there that's killing us because it's so frequent. Even a trip to MacDonalds is another swipe(even if there's food in the house).
He doesn't have work enough to get OT, unfortunately, and I work part time, which can go from a low of 15 hours a week to a high of 35...I've been jobhunting; I also sell artwork at shows and a gallery and online, but if I can do $100 a month, it's a good month. A recent show I did I netted just over $300 for that weekend, but that's few and far between. And some always goes back to supplies.
We don't vacation or entertain any more or even go out to dinner unless it's Wendy's. While we have creature comforts in the way of computers, etc.(mine being 5 years old and his being a bartered laptop), we're pretty down to basics now and can't even afford to replace the porch railings that rotted and fell apart. And it's things like that that I worry about-the house repairs, a refridgerator that's 25 years old and his car needs repairs-these are things I have to put off, along with some bills, because there's no way to pay for them.
This week and for the (hopefully) next few, I will not be putting any of my checks into the joint account. I am going to try using them as house cash and deposits into the savings; I figure that in this way, there will be no transactions in the checking that are mine and he will have to see where it's going because they'll all be his and bills only. And he will be told that any store trips, take the house cash, exactly what he needs. I'm crossing my fingers....

eribrav · 06-04-2007, 04:03 PM

Call me a simpleton but I think if you stopped smoking (3) $20's and a $10 each week you'd have a simple quick fix for your cash flow problem.

Instead of buying smokes this coming weekend just put a stack of currency in an ash tray and burn it. You'll end up healthier for the bargain. When you get sick of doing that you will have $70 flow to the bottom line a week. Then in a year or so your health insurance cost will go down too and you'll really have it made.

ngdawg · 06-04-2007, 04:16 PM

Oh...to be that easy....
I'm down from 3 packs a day two years ago to one....the $70 a week is if both of us quit...I think one of us would kill the other one at some point.
When I'm riding with my friend, I do great because I can't smoke on a motorcycle-I have maybe 4 cigs in 8 hours or so of riding. Also, work helps me not have as much and for some reason, watching tv.

highthief · 06-04-2007, 04:57 PM

Stop moaning and spend less.

No, really. Stop smoking and stop going to flipping Home Despot. Done. Anything less means you just don't care enough about the situation.

Been where you've been, I stopped smoking and we curtailed the eating out, which was our Achilles heel, and we got back on track right away.

ngdawg · 06-04-2007, 06:38 PM

It's not me who's shopping, just smoking

As I curtail the eating out and, instead put food in the freezer, even with instructions when I work nights to use that, many times as not I come home to "The kids didn't want that, so we went to Burger King".
Slowly this is all starting to sink in, I think. I made a point of saying I bought fruit and veggies at the fruit and veggie market because it's so much cheaper than snacks, that I would like a coke, but don't need to spend on one, so skip it, etc. After all, I can't direct if I don't actually do it myself, I know.
Spend less is easy for me-I hate to spend at all and look for the cheapest way out. I was always of the mind to "live under my means"-even the good stuff was from clearance racks, for example, and any clothes the kids outgrew went to consignment shops for extra cash. They used to get an allowance-that was stopped two years ago because I couldn't afford the $12 a week they were getting while I was in school.
The cigs are a big concern of mine, but a really strong habit. I've quit before-it ain't easy. I'll quit again.
Point is, we aren't rich, but we shouldn't be in a fix either, making more than what's owed out, knowing these things can be paid and, come due dates, there's not enough to pay them because what I thought was there has been used up at any store that'll take an ATM card.
The 'cash allowance' mentioned earlier is starting this week. I also told him no using the CC for gas until further notice-cash only. I'm going to do what Sultana said, figure out weekly, monthly expenses, see what cash he and I separately would need each week, start from there, not put my paychecks in the checking account-they'll be where the allowance comes from. (Then I'll secretly go into his wallet and run a magnet over the ATM card! Bwahahah!!)
well...maybe....

ubertuber · 06-04-2007, 06:53 PM

Think about ditching the credit card entirely. It isn't doing you any favors, and it's holding you back.

You also may need to examine the other end of the equation - namely, how to increase income. You may have to find a way to bring in more than $150/wk, even if it is doing stuff you don't like.

This thread is about breaking even. You need to get ahead, so you can save for insurance, rainy days, and retirement. Breaking even isn't enough.

Ratman · 06-04-2007, 08:24 PM

Something that really helped me a few years ago was online banking combined with Micro$oft Money. I set up my home expenses like a business- the goal is profit. There are two ways to make profit- A: bring in more money, or B: cut costs. It took a while to get Money configured optimally, but it was so worth it. Every receipt for every purchase was reconciled daily and categorized. I made the most minimal usage of the "Misc" category, I mean, a trip to the grocery store may yield items from 4 categories- food, pet food, cleaning supplies, and maintenance.

Then I used the charts for analysis to see where the money went. I was really surprised to learn about my spending habits. But now I had something tangible to work with. I could more easily see where to cut, what cards to pay first, the timing of e-deposits and withdrawls. I was able to budget better and even create a slush fund for emergencies. It was a pain in the ass, I am no accountant! Maybe if you can literally show him where the money goes, it might sink in.

Anyway, it worked for me. Good luck!

ngdawg · 06-04-2007, 08:57 PM

What exactly is Microsoft Money? I'd love something that broke down every cent!

jorgelito · 06-04-2007, 10:35 PM

You can use Excel too.

spindles · 06-04-2007, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

What exactly is Microsoft Money?

http://www.microsoft.com/money/Produ...ve_tab=Compare

cj22009 · 06-05-2007, 05:56 AM

Ng There is a wonderful guy on the radio that has written best selling books. His name is Dave Rasmey you can go to his web site it's his name with .com at the end get the book total money make over me and the wifey were 60 grand in debt and spent money like water. Until I got tired of being broke all the time we read his book and payed off all of the debt we had in 18 months except for our house which we are working on now it is a great book imo you can probably find him on the radio in your area to his site list the areas his is broadcast in pm me if you have any questions. I promise It really does work I have everybody in my family on his plan now and they are all becoming debt free

ngdawg · 06-06-2007, 09:47 PM

Thanks, I'll look him up.
Ok, so preliminary plan is: My weekly check is to go to 'allowances', with each of us getting a set amount for the week based on need: He will get $50-that should cover gas, morning coffee and newspaper, etc.(His lunches are either leftovers from dinner or sandwiches). Kids will get $15 each to cover their lunches and it will be up to them how little or how much they use-if they go over, oh well and if they come in under, the change is theirs. I will stress to them that they are not to skip lunch entirely. And I will get $30 a week.
Anything that's left over(I sure hope there is) goes into the statement savings and once a month, if need be, will be used to pay on the charge card(s).
This was already met with a sour response....too freakin bad. Funny thing is, I told him tonight, no more swiping....he went to Target while I was at work-shampoo, cookies, etc. But he did go through the coupons at least!!

cj22009 · 06-07-2007, 06:20 AM

Honetly it was the best thing I have ever done me and the wife never fight over money any more and when you sit down and do a budget of every dollar it's like getting a raise

Lasereth · 06-07-2007, 06:20 PM

From what I've read, the 4-5 trips to target and home depot seem to be the huge problem. Cigarettes are expensive but I'm guessing it's nothing compared to a target or home depot trip, much less 4-5 a week. Zero in on that. Tell him to simply stop going. I bet your house is filled with gadgets and "doodads" from target and home depot that you never use yet he keeps going and buying "projects" that seem like a good idea until you get back home. That's like $150 a week for those trips. Ouch!@!

BTW I didn't see if you mentioned what you ate everyday, but you might want to try eating an offbrand lean cuisine for lunch if you don't. Eating out for either breakfast, lunch, or even supper is a complete and total waste of money. You leave the place bloated and miserable from eating so much, plus you're out of $20.

I don't eat breakfast most days, and I eat a Michelina's lunch everyday at work. Guess how much they cost? $.77. Yes, seventy seven cents. I take 2 drinks with me to work, so my lunch costs approximately $0.90 per day. If I eat one for supper, I've eaten for the entire day for $1.80. Most people at my job eat out for lunch and supper. $10 for lunch, $10 for supper (counting tips). That's $20, which means they're paying 1000% more than me to eat FOOD that makes you feel miserable and regretful when you're done. Eat these meals for a whole week and you've already saved a hundred dollars.

Randerolf · 06-07-2007, 08:13 PM

ngdawg, I hope that you get everything in order. I can't expand on the good advice already given, but read about some rebates on personal finance software and thought of you. I use an Excel spreadsheet that I made myself, but maybe this may help.

Quote:

Valid June 3 to June 9 at Office Depot - Mail in Savings for web or phone in orders.

Quicken Premier 89.99 -40MIR = 49.99 (http://www.officedepot.com/ddSKU.do?level=SK&id=406222)
Quicken Deluxe 59.99 -50MIR = 9.99 (http://www.officedepot.com/ddSKU.do?level=SK&id=406194)
Quicken Basic 29.99 -10MIR = 19.99 (http://www.officedepot.com/ddSKU.do?level=SK&id=406187)
Quicken for Mac 69.99 - 30MIR = 39.99 (http://www.officedepot.com/ddSKU.do?level=SK&id=406236)

Coupon 51624761 gives $20 off the deluxe, premier or home/business versions. Expires 6/30.
for example, Quicken Deluxe will earn $10-tax (i.e. 59.99-50mir-20coupon+tax)

Xazy · 06-08-2007, 02:28 AM

Here is a list of cards that have 0 apr on transfer link you might want to look at one of these perhaps.

ngdawg · 06-08-2007, 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lasereth

From what I've read, the 4-5 trips to target and home depot seem to be the huge problem. Cigarettes are expensive but I'm guessing it's nothing compared to a target or home depot trip, much less 4-5 a week. Zero in on that. Tell him to simply stop going. I bet your house is filled with gadgets and "doodads" from target and home depot that you never use yet he keeps going and buying "projects" that seem like a good idea until you get back home. That's like $150 a week for those trips. Ouch!@!

BTW I didn't see if you mentioned what you ate everyday, but you might want to try eating an offbrand lean cuisine for lunch if you don't. Eating out for either breakfast, lunch, or even supper is a complete and total waste of money. You leave the place bloated and miserable from eating so much, plus you're out of $20.

I don't eat breakfast most days, and I eat a Michelina's lunch everyday at work. Guess how much they cost? $.77. Yes, seventy seven cents. I take 2 drinks with me to work, so my lunch costs approximately $0.90 per day. If I eat one for supper, I've eaten for the entire day for $1.80. Most people at my job eat out for lunch and supper. $10 for lunch, $10 for supper (counting tips). That's $20, which means they're paying 1000% more than me to eat FOOD that makes you feel miserable and regretful when you're done. Eat these meals for a whole week and you've already saved a hundred dollars.

I've been buying Banquet frozen dinners at the dollar store to bring to work and I buy bottled water by the case, also for work.
I've instructed the spouse that there is food in the freezer-use it when I'm at work. I was kind of impressed when I got home last night-I'd given him $60 for the week and there was $52 still on the table

He gets a coffee and a newspaper every morning on the way to work-his lunches are either leftovers or sandwiches he makes at home.
On my days off, sometimes I will go and get lunch, that's about $5 so maybe $15 a week for that and I'm cutting back there as well.
Another thing he did was to actually balance the checkbook himself this morning-since I haven't used it, he could see that a full page of debiting was his. Hopefully, it was an eye opener.

ASU2003 · 06-08-2007, 08:50 PM

I use MS Money. It is a good little program, but it will really show you where you spend money. It might not be the places you think. Home Depot and Lowe's might cost me $600/year. If I cut that to $300/year, what will happen? I might have $300 more at the end of the year.

It sounds like you need to come up with a finacial plan. It doesn't mean stop spending everything, but be more responsible and analyze both of your spending. A basic thing to do is break down expenses into a. Necessary for life b. Makes like better c. Unneeded but fun categories d. Taxes e. Savings.

Here is what my plan would be:
1. Set aside one hour a week (Sunday night after dinner is my time) and go over the current state of your finances. The purchases last week, and what is planed for next week. Are you going to save money for something else or pay down a CC or whatever. Don't get emotional, just look at the numbers like you work at the IRS.
2. Work on reducing spending. Make lists of what to get at stores.
3. Conserve gas. Although I bet you spend less that $2500/year on gas right now.
4. Read some books at the library or on-line about money management and organization. Even some finacial pyschology books might be good to understand why your husband and you spend more than you have.
5. Don't nag him. It will just make him want to spend more or resent you. It might impact other areas of the relationship. (I don't know about your specific case, but in general this is what should happen)
6. Quit smoking and start doing free things around your city to pass the time.

Ratman · 06-10-2007, 05:10 PM

Hey! Another MS Money user! Actually, I don't use it now because I live in Asia, and there are language compatibility issues with the banking system. I want to point out that if you commit to the personal finance software, and daily take a few minutes to update the register and reconcile the bank statements, you will find out how much spontaneous purchasing you do. That is the killer, and if you look daily, while that purchase is still fresh in your mind, and you see the impact on the monthly budget in real time, you and hubby may look at each dollar in a different way. Ditch the credit cards, it's too easy to spend someone else's money. Pay off the cards you have as quickly as possible. Live a cash existence, if you can't pay cash, you don't need it, or you can budget for it. After you pay off the cards, keep putting the same amount of money you were paying into savings, investments, whatever, but make it unavailable for spending. Oh, and make sure you budget for fun- a dinner out, movie rentals, whatever. Being fiscally responsible doesn't mean you have to be a monk!

ngdawg · 06-10-2007, 06:20 PM

I thought we could do really well with the credit cards...I don't use the Sam's Club or Kohl's...ok, Kohl's suspended the card last month, but still...
Then yesterday, my son broke his glasses and there went almost $300 that I now have to make up.

Groceries tonight came to $32 because I bought strictly what was needed to replenish and most of that was on sale. There will be no more "Oh! Better get that-just in case and while it's on sale" buying.
We went to a Revolutionary War reenactment and spent all of $11-we looked at things, but bought nothing except lunch.
This all has to become habit now. The spouse won't be able to get through the week on that $60-I think he has less than $20 left; I have no idea why, really, but I will hand him $20 so he doesn't hit an ATM. That is one habit that must be broken quickly.
June will be rough; the mortgage ($1800) is getting mailed tomorrow, a week late, which puts everything else later than usual and we're already past due on most bills. I will have to toss scraps to everyone this month.
Once I can get things on a rhythm and kill or at least seriously maim his ATM card addiction, I will be able to see what truly goes out and comes in-hopefully before the end of this month.
Thanks, everyone. You all have great ideas and I appreciate the support.
One story of either silliness or stupidity(I'm leaning toward the latter): Gas at a nearby station is 4c cheaper than another down the street. I handed him $30 out of what I'd made at yesterday's artfair to get his gas. He went to the more expensive one because he's pissed off at the cheap one for not being open at 6am like the sign said....*sigh*

Nisses · 06-13-2007, 05:46 AM

The fact that your son broke his glasses isn't so much the problem here. Those are costs that will happen from time to time.

Explain the situation to your husband, fully, in complete detail. Tell him to leave the card behind. Revert to bills and coins both (if you don't want to make it seem like it's all about him).

Ditch all DCs and CCs for a good long while.

ngdawg · 06-15-2007, 08:58 PM

Good news! He lost the debit card!

Had it in the same pocket as the cigs, went to toss the empty cig box and more than likely, tossed the card with it. He's freaking....
We got rid of our cable internet and the AOL. It's DSL and Mozilla now, for a monthly savings of about $50. And it's the last week of school, so that will be another $30 a week not being put out(the kids got their last school lunch allowance yesterday). And, with dance classes ending next week, less gas will be consumed. So we'll have a 10 week long chance to catch up before fall and school starts up again.
Our other pc apparently has MS Money as part of its XP package-saw it there today and will play with it to see what it does for us.
I spoke again with my boss, stressing that I need more hours-we'll see how that pans out.
Thanks again, everyone! I've been reading back a few times to see what I need to keep doing and how to work out the suggestions. Much appreciated.

ngdawg · 06-26-2007, 06:40 PM

Update: He found his MAC card. And used it when there was house cash. He's not getting it at all.
Today, the electric had been turned off due to nonpayment.(apparently the $100 last week against a $1,000 bill was too paltry). My friend became a white knight on a black steed and bailed me out. Spouse blamed me for the fiasco, saying I don't make enough,yadayada.....wasn't aware that our little savings book didn't have $1,000 in it...I told him he needs to stop shopping with the debit card!!! If there's $40 on the table, there's no reason to go spending $40 with the card. There's no reason to spend $40 in the first place....he then commented that the phone bill is going to be next...no, that's been paid.
We ditched cable in favor of Dish Network, saving us about $20 a month and getting more channels, better service, etc. I changed the cellphone service plan to include text messaging so the daughter doesn't run up $50 or so in charges like she's done. All in all, the changes to services will save us about $60 a month or more, added to the $120 a month saved in lunch money.
I asked for more hours-got 10 extra this week, but I will continue to look for another job.
And quitting the cigs cold turkey is getting closer to reality....

DDDDave · 06-26-2007, 07:04 PM

Hang in there ngdawg....

I think you are on the right track with the extra hours.

"You can't save yourself into prosperity"

Income must > Outgo

Good Luck

06-02-2007, 12:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Income<Outgo I need suggestions as I'm at my wits' end.... To summarize: Monthly income: approx. 3200 Bills: approx. 2600, not including gas, food, etc. Biggest problem: Spouse's addiction to his debit and credit cards. Five months after refinancing everything, he's managed to charge his way to over the credit limit(10,000). Let me be clear, he did not charge this entire amount; about $3k was small store cards paid off, art supplies and sundry items. What he has been doing is filling up his gas tank a couple times a week, always with the card, so while I've been paying maybe $50 a week on it, he's been spending twice that. The debit card is giving me indigestion. He never carries cash-always uses the card. Cigs, toiletries, trips to Home Depot, all with the debit card, using up the checking account. And he doesn't write these in, so while I think we have X amount of money in it, we don't. So.....first, how do I change both our habits? I can save pretty well and do when there's a goal to obtain, but I can't get him to do the same thing. "Did you put money away for this?" "No, I'll just go to the MAC". ARGGHH!!! As a result, all the money I'd been saving has been eaten up trying to keep up with bills. I thought being down to just one CC would help, but it only took 5 months to be right back into the mire. I've had it...visions of smashing him over the head with a bat keep popping up.... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-02-2007, 12:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	Make sure it is not one with cork inside. He'll get up quickly. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

06-02-2007, 06:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	It may help if you swap that cc balance to another card as well. If he exceeded the credit limit then you've probably lost any intro APR (assuming you had one) and may want to look into switching to a card with a 0% teaser rate. A little birdie told me that BofA has a few cards that might be able to fit the bill for you, particularly the Worldpoints mastercard; but then, if you have a preferred bank you want to go with, use them instead. Just remember that most banks won't let you transfer from one of their own cards and lopk out for the bt and disloyalty fees that you may get smacked with. I encounter folks quite regularly who do this constantly to help get rid of their balances. When one intro rate expires they roll the balance to a new card with a new intro rate and close the old account. It's a bit of extra work, but depending on what APR you're paying you could easily save thousands in the end. Also, if the spouse is spending so much money on gas, you may want to look into getting a card specifically for that purpose. The problem here of course is that the gas is really necessary spending (unless your spouse is prone to doing a lot of driving with no destination,) so there's not really much you can do about it. I know there's a card you can get through AAA that offers a rebate on gas purchases, something like that may be a good idea. Aside from that, I'd say it's time to sit down and take a look at your bills. Break your expenses down and figure out exactly what is necessary and what isn't. If you have any extra channels in your satellite/cable package, any extras on the phone you can do without, things like that can add up to a significant portion of your monthly expenses. We usually fall into the salesman's trap of 'it's ONLY $9.95/month' (being a salesman myself, I know how well this one works), but then we have $9.95 here and $9.95 there and before we know it we're in debt up to our eyeballs. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

06-03-2007, 03:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Obviously, it's not a problem of you not being wise about what's being spent, and where, but him. So separate checking accounts seems like the way to go. Personally, I have three bank accounts: one bricks-and-mortar checking account, one online checking account, and one online savings account. I use the first checking account for day-to-day discretionary spending, the second for household expenses (Costco/laundry). Splitting up your accounts makes good sense. That way you will worry less about his spending. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

06-03-2007, 05:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
StellaLuna Psycho Location: hiding behind wings	Get a joint household account going- make sure that money goes into it from both of you to cover those expenses like mortgage, utilities, food, etc., and have your own discretionary checking accounts. I wish I had done the same-- a lot of arguments could have been avoided. __________________ Screw tradition!

06-02-2007, 12:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Separate debit cards. My wife and I do this, and we each have become responsible spenders (as opposed to 2 years ago when we were splurgers). We're both much happier. We have like 5 accounts total: college for the little one, savings, joint checking, his and hers checking. It's up to you how you want to alocate funds into each of your accounts, but if you can both agree on something, and you don't have access to his card or him to yours except in an emergency, then you might be better off.

06-02-2007, 05:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	It sounds like a lot of his spending is on gasoline. Is that for commuting to work? If it is then whether he charges it or pays up front you're still in the same hole. There's only a few truly "discretionary" items you have listed. So, what are the cigarettes worth to you?

06-03-2007, 09:14 PM	#12 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	Personally, my wife and I have a single bank account. She is a "housewife" for want of a better term - looking after the boys is a full time job any (it just doesn't pay well). She is responsible for the day to day expenses, and we almost exclusively use cash for day to day things. We don't have a credit card at all, though we do have a joint Amex account (big difference is you have to pay off the balance every month). This is purely for convenience, and both of us know we can't buy anything big on this without discussing it first. If my wife was spending like a drunken sailor, I'd tell her, but with the numbers to prove it. It is a pretty simple economic truth - you can't survive spending more than you earn. Maybe you think this isn't the best time to give up the ciggies - seems to me it is the perfect time, from a financial POV. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

06-03-2007, 10:06 PM	#13 (permalink)
cyklone Crazy Location: Adelaide, South Australia	Sultana's suggestion is the one I have seen work the best time and time again, or if he will allow you to police him, take away his credit cards and you allot him so much cash per day. Failing that, eliminate the source of the problem. Ditch him. If he can't be fiscally responsible now, how are you going to manage when it is just his income and you are trying to raise the kids.

06-03-2007, 10:10 PM	#14 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Can't afford to ditch him!! He doesn't make enough to sustain THIS house, let alone a second place to live! Well, he does...if he'd stay home and not spend... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-04-2007, 04:06 AM	#15 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	Okay, ditching him is extreme. I think if you want change that is more constructive, think of it this way: your husband's shopping habits could be a symptom of a deeper problem. It is possible he's shopping as a way to fill a gap in his life. Of course, the shopping will only fill the gap for a day before he needs to fill it again. Maybe you should help him find a way to get more satisfaction out of life. Is there anything you know he likes but doesn't do anymore? Most people with damaging shopping habits are like that, and they need to realize the value of the simpler things in life. He needs to unplug from the consumer society perpetuated on TV and in billboards? Does he watch too much TV. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

06-04-2007, 11:40 AM	#16 (permalink)
DDDDave Addict Location: Sarasota	Your original thread title was 'Income < Outgo' ... First, BTDT. It is no simpler than 'I either need to spend less, or make more'. I had to decide - do I want to cut back and not have/do the things I want or do I work harder/smarter to make more money. I chose the latter. You are agonizing over ways to save $100. but you(or especially hubby) could probably find a way to make an extra $100. a month. Some overtime at the current job, or helping out a friend who works on nights or weekends. (You will have to get creative). I don't want this to sound all preachy but you guys need to decide how it's going to be. Are you going to struggle forever or are you going to try harder to make more and make a better life. It is not easy. Not by any means. The decision will not come without a lot of soul searching. Pride goeth before the fall. It kind of sounds counter-intuitive but the harder you work the easier things will be. I mean this sincerely, Good Luck, and I wish you well. __________________ I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe... "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

06-04-2007, 04:03 PM	#18 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	Call me a simpleton but I think if you stopped smoking (3) $20's and a $10 each week you'd have a simple quick fix for your cash flow problem. Instead of buying smokes this coming weekend just put a stack of currency in an ash tray and burn it. You'll end up healthier for the bargain. When you get sick of doing that you will have $70 flow to the bottom line a week. Then in a year or so your health insurance cost will go down too and you'll really have it made.

06-04-2007, 04:16 PM	#19 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Oh...to be that easy.... I'm down from 3 packs a day two years ago to one....the $70 a week is if both of us quit...I think one of us would kill the other one at some point. When I'm riding with my friend, I do great because I can't smoke on a motorcycle-I have maybe 4 cigs in 8 hours or so of riding. Also, work helps me not have as much and for some reason, watching tv. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-04-2007, 04:57 PM	#20 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	Stop moaning and spend less. No, really. Stop smoking and stop going to flipping Home Despot. Done. Anything less means you just don't care enough about the situation. Been where you've been, I stopped smoking and we curtailed the eating out, which was our Achilles heel, and we got back on track right away. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

06-04-2007, 06:38 PM	#21 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	It's not me who's shopping, just smoking As I curtail the eating out and, instead put food in the freezer, even with instructions when I work nights to use that, many times as not I come home to "The kids didn't want that, so we went to Burger King". Slowly this is all starting to sink in, I think. I made a point of saying I bought fruit and veggies at the fruit and veggie market because it's so much cheaper than snacks, that I would like a coke, but don't need to spend on one, so skip it, etc. After all, I can't direct if I don't actually do it myself, I know. Spend less is easy for me-I hate to spend at all and look for the cheapest way out. I was always of the mind to "live under my means"-even the good stuff was from clearance racks, for example, and any clothes the kids outgrew went to consignment shops for extra cash. They used to get an allowance-that was stopped two years ago because I couldn't afford the $12 a week they were getting while I was in school. The cigs are a big concern of mine, but a really strong habit. I've quit before-it ain't easy. I'll quit again. Point is, we aren't rich, but we shouldn't be in a fix either, making more than what's owed out, knowing these things can be paid and, come due dates, there's not enough to pay them because what I thought was there has been used up at any store that'll take an ATM card. The 'cash allowance' mentioned earlier is starting this week. I also told him no using the CC for gas until further notice-cash only. I'm going to do what Sultana said, figure out weekly, monthly expenses, see what cash he and I separately would need each week, start from there, not put my paychecks in the checking account-they'll be where the allowance comes from. (Then I'll secretly go into his wallet and run a magnet over the ATM card! Bwahahah!!) well...maybe.... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-04-2007, 06:53 PM	#22 (permalink)
ubertuber spudly Location: Ellay	Think about ditching the credit card entirely. It isn't doing you any favors, and it's holding you back. You also may need to examine the other end of the equation - namely, how to increase income. You may have to find a way to bring in more than $150/wk, even if it is doing stuff you don't like. This thread is about breaking even. You need to get ahead, so you can save for insurance, rainy days, and retirement. Breaking even isn't enough. __________________ Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam

06-04-2007, 08:24 PM	#23 (permalink)
Ratman Addict Location: Somewhere... Across the sea...	Something that really helped me a few years ago was online banking combined with Micro$oft Money. I set up my home expenses like a business- the goal is profit. There are two ways to make profit- A: bring in more money, or B: cut costs. It took a while to get Money configured optimally, but it was so worth it. Every receipt for every purchase was reconciled daily and categorized. I made the most minimal usage of the "Misc" category, I mean, a trip to the grocery store may yield items from 4 categories- food, pet food, cleaning supplies, and maintenance. Then I used the charts for analysis to see where the money went. I was really surprised to learn about my spending habits. But now I had something tangible to work with. I could more easily see where to cut, what cards to pay first, the timing of e-deposits and withdrawls. I was able to budget better and even create a slush fund for emergencies. It was a pain in the ass, I am no accountant! Maybe if you can literally show him where the money goes, it might sink in. Anyway, it worked for me. Good luck! __________________ The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference. "God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

06-04-2007, 08:57 PM	#24 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	What exactly is Microsoft Money? I'd love something that broke down every cent! __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-04-2007, 10:35 PM	#25 (permalink)
jorgelito All important elusive independent swing voter... Location: People's Republic of KKKalifornia	You can use Excel too.

06-05-2007, 05:56 AM	#27 (permalink)
cj22009 On the edge of control Location: Ga	Ng There is a wonderful guy on the radio that has written best selling books. His name is Dave Rasmey you can go to his web site it's his name with .com at the end get the book total money make over me and the wifey were 60 grand in debt and spent money like water. Until I got tired of being broke all the time we read his book and payed off all of the debt we had in 18 months except for our house which we are working on now it is a great book imo you can probably find him on the radio in your area to his site list the areas his is broadcast in pm me if you have any questions. I promise It really does work I have everybody in my family on his plan now and they are all becoming debt free

06-06-2007, 09:47 PM	#28 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Thanks, I'll look him up. Ok, so preliminary plan is: My weekly check is to go to 'allowances', with each of us getting a set amount for the week based on need: He will get $50-that should cover gas, morning coffee and newspaper, etc.(His lunches are either leftovers from dinner or sandwiches). Kids will get $15 each to cover their lunches and it will be up to them how little or how much they use-if they go over, oh well and if they come in under, the change is theirs. I will stress to them that they are not to skip lunch entirely. And I will get $30 a week. Anything that's left over(I sure hope there is) goes into the statement savings and once a month, if need be, will be used to pay on the charge card(s). This was already met with a sour response....too freakin bad. Funny thing is, I told him tonight, no more swiping....he went to Target while I was at work-shampoo, cookies, etc. But he did go through the coupons at least!! __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-07-2007, 06:20 AM	#29 (permalink)
cj22009 On the edge of control Location: Ga	Honetly it was the best thing I have ever done me and the wife never fight over money any more and when you sit down and do a budget of every dollar it's like getting a raise

06-07-2007, 06:20 PM	#30 (permalink)
Lasereth Knight of the Old Republic Location: Winston-Salem, NC	From what I've read, the 4-5 trips to target and home depot seem to be the huge problem. Cigarettes are expensive but I'm guessing it's nothing compared to a target or home depot trip, much less 4-5 a week. Zero in on that. Tell him to simply stop going. I bet your house is filled with gadgets and "doodads" from target and home depot that you never use yet he keeps going and buying "projects" that seem like a good idea until you get back home. That's like $150 a week for those trips. Ouch!@! BTW I didn't see if you mentioned what you ate everyday, but you might want to try eating an offbrand lean cuisine for lunch if you don't. Eating out for either breakfast, lunch, or even supper is a complete and total waste of money. You leave the place bloated and miserable from eating so much, plus you're out of $20. I don't eat breakfast most days, and I eat a Michelina's lunch everyday at work. Guess how much they cost? $.77. Yes, seventy seven cents. I take 2 drinks with me to work, so my lunch costs approximately $0.90 per day. If I eat one for supper, I've eaten for the entire day for $1.80. Most people at my job eat out for lunch and supper. $10 for lunch, $10 for supper (counting tips). That's $20, which means they're paying 1000% more than me to eat FOOD that makes you feel miserable and regretful when you're done. Eat these meals for a whole week and you've already saved a hundred dollars. __________________ "A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert Last edited by Lasereth; 06-07-2007 at 06:24 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

06-08-2007, 02:28 AM	#32 (permalink)
Xazy People in masks cannot be trusted Location: NYC	Here is a list of cards that have 0 apr on transfer link you might want to look at one of these perhaps.

06-08-2007, 08:50 PM	#34 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	I use MS Money. It is a good little program, but it will really show you where you spend money. It might not be the places you think. Home Depot and Lowe's might cost me $600/year. If I cut that to $300/year, what will happen? I might have $300 more at the end of the year. It sounds like you need to come up with a finacial plan. It doesn't mean stop spending everything, but be more responsible and analyze both of your spending. A basic thing to do is break down expenses into a. Necessary for life b. Makes like better c. Unneeded but fun categories d. Taxes e. Savings. Here is what my plan would be: 1. Set aside one hour a week (Sunday night after dinner is my time) and go over the current state of your finances. The purchases last week, and what is planed for next week. Are you going to save money for something else or pay down a CC or whatever. Don't get emotional, just look at the numbers like you work at the IRS. 2. Work on reducing spending. Make lists of what to get at stores. 3. Conserve gas. Although I bet you spend less that $2500/year on gas right now. 4. Read some books at the library or on-line about money management and organization. Even some finacial pyschology books might be good to understand why your husband and you spend more than you have. 5. Don't nag him. It will just make him want to spend more or resent you. It might impact other areas of the relationship. (I don't know about your specific case, but in general this is what should happen) 6. Quit smoking and start doing free things around your city to pass the time.

06-10-2007, 05:10 PM	#35 (permalink)
Ratman Addict Location: Somewhere... Across the sea...	Hey! Another MS Money user! Actually, I don't use it now because I live in Asia, and there are language compatibility issues with the banking system. I want to point out that if you commit to the personal finance software, and daily take a few minutes to update the register and reconcile the bank statements, you will find out how much spontaneous purchasing you do. That is the killer, and if you look daily, while that purchase is still fresh in your mind, and you see the impact on the monthly budget in real time, you and hubby may look at each dollar in a different way. Ditch the credit cards, it's too easy to spend someone else's money. Pay off the cards you have as quickly as possible. Live a cash existence, if you can't pay cash, you don't need it, or you can budget for it. After you pay off the cards, keep putting the same amount of money you were paying into savings, investments, whatever, but make it unavailable for spending. Oh, and make sure you budget for fun- a dinner out, movie rentals, whatever. Being fiscally responsible doesn't mean you have to be a monk! __________________ The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference. "God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

06-10-2007, 06:20 PM	#36 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I thought we could do really well with the credit cards...I don't use the Sam's Club or Kohl's...ok, Kohl's suspended the card last month, but still... Then yesterday, my son broke his glasses and there went almost $300 that I now have to make up. Groceries tonight came to $32 because I bought strictly what was needed to replenish and most of that was on sale. There will be no more "Oh! Better get that-just in case and while it's on sale" buying. We went to a Revolutionary War reenactment and spent all of $11-we looked at things, but bought nothing except lunch. This all has to become habit now. The spouse won't be able to get through the week on that $60-I think he has less than $20 left; I have no idea why, really, but I will hand him $20 so he doesn't hit an ATM. That is one habit that must be broken quickly. June will be rough; the mortgage ($1800) is getting mailed tomorrow, a week late, which puts everything else later than usual and we're already past due on most bills. I will have to toss scraps to everyone this month. Once I can get things on a rhythm and kill or at least seriously maim his ATM card addiction, I will be able to see what truly goes out and comes in-hopefully before the end of this month. Thanks, everyone. You all have great ideas and I appreciate the support. One story of either silliness or stupidity(I'm leaning toward the latter): Gas at a nearby station is 4c cheaper than another down the street. I handed him $30 out of what I'd made at yesterday's artfair to get his gas. He went to the more expensive one because he's pissed off at the cheap one for not being open at 6am like the sign said....sigh __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-13-2007, 05:46 AM	#37 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	The fact that your son broke his glasses isn't so much the problem here. Those are costs that will happen from time to time. Explain the situation to your husband, fully, in complete detail. Tell him to leave the card behind. Revert to bills and coins both (if you don't want to make it seem like it's all about him). Ditch all DCs and CCs for a good long while. __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

06-15-2007, 08:58 PM	#38 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Good news! He lost the debit card! Had it in the same pocket as the cigs, went to toss the empty cig box and more than likely, tossed the card with it. He's freaking.... We got rid of our cable internet and the AOL. It's DSL and Mozilla now, for a monthly savings of about $50. And it's the last week of school, so that will be another $30 a week not being put out(the kids got their last school lunch allowance yesterday). And, with dance classes ending next week, less gas will be consumed. So we'll have a 10 week long chance to catch up before fall and school starts up again. Our other pc apparently has MS Money as part of its XP package-saw it there today and will play with it to see what it does for us. I spoke again with my boss, stressing that I need more hours-we'll see how that pans out. Thanks again, everyone! I've been reading back a few times to see what I need to keep doing and how to work out the suggestions. Much appreciated. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-26-2007, 06:40 PM	#39 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Update: He found his MAC card. And used it when there was house cash. He's not getting it at all. Today, the electric had been turned off due to nonpayment.(apparently the $100 last week against a $1,000 bill was too paltry). My friend became a white knight on a black steed and bailed me out. Spouse blamed me for the fiasco, saying I don't make enough,yadayada.....wasn't aware that our little savings book didn't have $1,000 in it...I told him he needs to stop shopping with the debit card!!! If there's $40 on the table, there's no reason to go spending $40 with the card. There's no reason to spend $40 in the first place....he then commented that the phone bill is going to be next...no, that's been paid. We ditched cable in favor of Dish Network, saving us about $20 a month and getting more channels, better service, etc. I changed the cellphone service plan to include text messaging so the daughter doesn't run up $50 or so in charges like she's done. All in all, the changes to services will save us about $60 a month or more, added to the $120 a month saved in lunch money. I asked for more hours-got 10 extra this week, but I will continue to look for another job. And quitting the cigs cold turkey is getting closer to reality.... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-26-2007, 07:04 PM	#40 (permalink)
DDDDave Addict Location: Sarasota	Hang in there ngdawg.... I think you are on the right track with the extra hours. "You can't save yourself into prosperity" Income must > Outgo Good Luck __________________ I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe... "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson