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Originally Posted by Sultana
Exactly! On all accounts.
We have a joint household account, and personal accounts. We figured out alllll of our joint bills, split them in half, and have that much deposited into the account. Had to average out the variable bills like elec, but we averaged out the last 12 months and use that as our base.
We also averaged out our food costs and actually use a completely separate joint account for that (different reasons, it just works for us).
All other overflow (after retirement savings and such) goes into the personal accounts, and all personal bills (to whatever point you want, we go so far as to pay for our own drycleaning and Rx's and haircuts, ec. ) and costs come out of here.
I highly HIGHLY recommend it, I wish to god I had done this years ago.
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Funny thing is, we did this when we started living together-each put 2/3 of our pay into the joint account, other 3rd was our own. It was equitable since he made more than I-still does, but now all of it goes into the checking except what I was able to scrounge away. Now I can't even do that.
Last summer, I told him to take $60 out on payday each week; he did for about a month or so, then it was 'couldn't get to the bank' or 'I forgot' and I got complacent and didn't push it.
Since most banks want a minimum to start an account, I'm thinking about using my weekly checks for petty house cash and rest into savings, then once a month I can take what's needed from that for my bills-Kohl's, the Visa, etc.
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Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
No matter how you set up accounts, your husband's habits need to change or you'll never have substantial savings. If he keeps going on as he does, there'll be nothing going into your special, independent savings account outside of your $150/week, if you can even manage that. It's all about income minus expenses. Divy it up all you want, if nothing changes, things will stay the same. Home Depot 4 to 5 times a week? I don't even go to a coffee shop that often.
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This is the hard part. I don't want to treat him like a 5 year old and demand he hand over the debit card, but the thought is crossing my mind.
Yea, Target, Home Depot, even the dollar store-he loves to shop for shit. Say in passing we need a box of tissues and he's out the door and $40 later, home with stuff he 'noticed we need'. So, in addition to buying more soap, more snacks, etc., he's driving in the car he says he needs to fill up every 5 days...
I notice the married ones say they have separate accounts. Was this always this way? Was there some aversion or insult if it was a change to how you handled money?
I cook for the 4 of us the nights I don't work, so I do the groceries(only spent $43 today for about 4 or 5 meals-tomorrow I'm making 3 meatloafs so actually bought 8 meals.) Should I hand over the joint checking and the major bills to him as if it was his account and contribute enough to cover them? I could then use the savings as mine....something tells me that would be like handing a lighter to a child and saying don't play with it, knowing a catastrophe could strike. How do I approach this without bruising an ego? Saying "we're not doing well here" is not sinking in at all.