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Echan · 06-03-2007, 12:50 AM

I've been fairly lucky throughout my life. I never had to experience a number of painful moments, no deaths in the family, had a loved one suffer from cancer, aids, or any number of uncurable ailments. I've never broken a bone or sprained a wrist/ankle. Never with one exception at least, and it is abundantly clear that I don't know how to handle these sort of things.

Years ago, when I was still in Junior High, I was close friends with someone who was bright, and really hardworking. Being a kid, I was always dissapointed when I asked if he wanted to do anything, but he was too busy studying. I remember a strong desire to get good grades, go to University and make something out of his life.

A year or two later, his father dies in an accident. This triggers a whole string of actions too long to list, his Mom decides to move, taking his three siblings with her and he continues his education, but drops out shortly after. His goals suddenly changed and he seemed content spending all his time at an arcade playing DDR and Yugioh while working at Walmart restocking shelves at night.

One night, at some ungodly hour, I get a phone call from him franctically explaining he's in the hospital and that he's ok. I later learn that he got hospitalized because he hooked up with some girl who phoned the authorities after an argument which led to violence and that he's now being treated for Scizophrenia.

The next day I visit him, being young, I had no idea what Schizophrenia was and from what I could tell, he was perfectly sane and simply scared about being confined in a hospital for a couple weeks. Considering my age and all my own worries, we sort of grew apart. It's hard to visit someone when you can't drive yet. It would have been a 3.5 hour detour for me to visit.

Over the years, he'd occasionally phone,tell me he has recovered, says he is doing ok again and we'd occasionally do something. Everytime I'd get this feeling that he has recovered and he will finally be able to rebuild his life. However, almost like clockwork, the next day the phone will ring and in the same frantic voice as his first time, he would explain that he's in the hospital and he is ok. Everytime this happens, he later confesses that he either got out, but was arrested shortly after, or he lied about his progress and got caught in an escape attempt.

All of that leads to the last couple of days. The other day, I get a phone call again. This time it's just to chat, the flow of the conversation was very disorganized as he sort of bounces around on a variety of topics, I can sort of tell something is wrong. He recites a story about how he decided to commit himself for further treatment and is about to leave in the next couple days when the doctors sign him off. I ask him about his plans once he is released. He tells me about a position at chapters, a new apartment, his new found love of music, how excited he is about Spider-man 3 and if I'd want to go see it with him.

The next day, I get another phone call. In what felt like dejavu, he phoned and just wanted to chat. As the conversation went on, I noticed that he was talking about everything we discussed the day before as if it never happened. He spoke as if we didn't even talk the day before. Towards the end of the conversation, I ask when he is getting out of the hospital, but this time his tune changes. He attempted to escape the night before, but he was captured so he wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

It's hard to explain how the conversations go, but it feels like he's just stuck in a moment in time 6 years ago. I don't really know where I'm going with this, I just don't know how to handle it. I want him to get better, but it's depressing speaking to him occasionally only to feel like he's just sinking further. Sometimes he'll say something really strange, reminiscing to earlier days and I will have no idea how to respond, or if anything I say will have any meaning anymore.

I'm not sure how to handle the occasional request to do something and catch up either. We just don't have any connection anymore, and I don't think I feel entirely safe or comfortable meeting.

06-03-2007, 12:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
Echan Upright	On Schizophrenia I've been fairly lucky throughout my life. I never had to experience a number of painful moments, no deaths in the family, had a loved one suffer from cancer, aids, or any number of uncurable ailments. I've never broken a bone or sprained a wrist/ankle. Never with one exception at least, and it is abundantly clear that I don't know how to handle these sort of things. Years ago, when I was still in Junior High, I was close friends with someone who was bright, and really hardworking. Being a kid, I was always dissapointed when I asked if he wanted to do anything, but he was too busy studying. I remember a strong desire to get good grades, go to University and make something out of his life. A year or two later, his father dies in an accident. This triggers a whole string of actions too long to list, his Mom decides to move, taking his three siblings with her and he continues his education, but drops out shortly after. His goals suddenly changed and he seemed content spending all his time at an arcade playing DDR and Yugioh while working at Walmart restocking shelves at night. One night, at some ungodly hour, I get a phone call from him franctically explaining he's in the hospital and that he's ok. I later learn that he got hospitalized because he hooked up with some girl who phoned the authorities after an argument which led to violence and that he's now being treated for Scizophrenia. The next day I visit him, being young, I had no idea what Schizophrenia was and from what I could tell, he was perfectly sane and simply scared about being confined in a hospital for a couple weeks. Considering my age and all my own worries, we sort of grew apart. It's hard to visit someone when you can't drive yet. It would have been a 3.5 hour detour for me to visit. Over the years, he'd occasionally phone,tell me he has recovered, says he is doing ok again and we'd occasionally do something. Everytime I'd get this feeling that he has recovered and he will finally be able to rebuild his life. However, almost like clockwork, the next day the phone will ring and in the same frantic voice as his first time, he would explain that he's in the hospital and he is ok. Everytime this happens, he later confesses that he either got out, but was arrested shortly after, or he lied about his progress and got caught in an escape attempt. All of that leads to the last couple of days. The other day, I get a phone call again. This time it's just to chat, the flow of the conversation was very disorganized as he sort of bounces around on a variety of topics, I can sort of tell something is wrong. He recites a story about how he decided to commit himself for further treatment and is about to leave in the next couple days when the doctors sign him off. I ask him about his plans once he is released. He tells me about a position at chapters, a new apartment, his new found love of music, how excited he is about Spider-man 3 and if I'd want to go see it with him. The next day, I get another phone call. In what felt like dejavu, he phoned and just wanted to chat. As the conversation went on, I noticed that he was talking about everything we discussed the day before as if it never happened. He spoke as if we didn't even talk the day before. Towards the end of the conversation, I ask when he is getting out of the hospital, but this time his tune changes. He attempted to escape the night before, but he was captured so he wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. It's hard to explain how the conversations go, but it feels like he's just stuck in a moment in time 6 years ago. I don't really know where I'm going with this, I just don't know how to handle it. I want him to get better, but it's depressing speaking to him occasionally only to feel like he's just sinking further. Sometimes he'll say something really strange, reminiscing to earlier days and I will have no idea how to respond, or if anything I say will have any meaning anymore. I'm not sure how to handle the occasional request to do something and catch up either. We just don't have any connection anymore, and I don't think I feel entirely safe or comfortable meeting.