In situations like this, it is easy to look at things from shoe's perspective, which is why I like to try and see things from the other party's perspective... in this case, shoe's g/f.
I don't know the circumstances of your breakup or your un-breakup with her, but more importantly in this case, I don't know the circumstances of your g/f's breakup with fucker. To me, that is a key point because it could help provide insight into her thinking and her intentions. Did she break it off with him to come back to you? Or did it fall apart and she came back to you after the fact? And if so, why did it fall apart?
What we do know is that you and her agreed that she would cut all ties with him. On one level, that was the obvious and smart thing to do... however, on another I believe these absolute restrictions are a bad thing because they create the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. As we all know, this is a very powerful desire... one that tempts us into doing illogical things simply out of curiousity.
Your g/f probably still has one of those pesky "what if?"-scenarios going through her head... and she's been unable to explore that thanks to your little agreement. I think that, if you truly want to be with her long-term, you need to release her from this control and let things play out naturally. It will most certainly be difficult for you throughout this process, but I believe it's the only way can ever fully trust her again.
If she really wants you, she will be true to you and earn back your trust... but if she is seduced by fucker once again, then at least you will know her true nature and can leave before it's too late.
__________________
"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."
"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."
|