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Retain TRUSTWORTHY legal advice. Get someone who will be honest with you and look out for your interests. I cannot tell you how many times people I know have gotten attorneys and the breakup suddenly went from civil to a war. My own parents, who were at one time having a very amicable separation, suddenly were at each other's throats because they hired attorneys. They both found little mistakes that the other party had accidentally made (not only were the mistakes clearly innocent, but they were really quite unimportant) and they started attacking each other and such. It created years of resentment between them. I wasn't expecting them to be lovey dovey, of course, but I happen to know that things would have gone more smoothly had they either retained better lawyers or no lawyers. Their lawyers each made a shitload of money off them fighting, btw.
Get someone who won't pour honey in your ear about how your ex is screwing you and we have to get him. Get someone who can explain simply the law and help you make the best decisions in this difficult time.
I wish you the best of luck.
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