BigDonkey2

Totally agree. I've been in a few LDRs myself and with experience comes knowledge and wisdom. The first one for me was probably the toughest because my ex was in France studying abroad and we couldn't talk or email everyday, rather, only a few days a week. At one point, I didn't hear from her for two weeks. The time differential was hard too (9 hours), but thats an extreme case. Also, she ended up kissing some other guy there and didn't tell me until later. Then she decided to go back for another semester in France, which pretty much killed it. We were having problems anyways and looking back on it I don't think I was mentally ready to handle it.

The second was while I was playing baseball in Tennessee. It wasn't for long only for the summer. She was in California and I was in Tennessee. That just fell apart as time went on and blew up into a whole shit sandwhich.

The third I'm currently going through. She's in California (where I'm from) and I'm in Pennsylvania. Shes coming to visit in a few weeks, which I'm very excited about. It's the same situation; I'm playing baseball out here while she's back in CA surviving without me.

I have noticed some common tendencies bewteen all of theses relationships and I'd like to elaborate on the issues stated above by Charlatan.

1. Trust - You have to have complete trust in each other to have an LDR or everything will fall apart. She might think that if you don't answer your phone that you might be cheating or doing whatever if she doesn't trust you. Believe me, I've seen it happen. My roommate's girlfriend from spring training last year called him 128 times in one day because she thought he was cheating on her. NO JOKE. Everytime he didn't answer the phone she thought he was cheating on her. Alas, they're not together anymore.

2. Communication - This is another key issue. You need to be open and honest about everything that happens because if you lie about things its just going to magnify everything to the Nth degree. One lie starts another and starts another and it just snowballs from there. If there is a problem or something bugging you that shes doing/not doing you need to tell her because its just going to bother you and/or push you away. Talk everyday, email, text message, ANY form of communication everyday is a must. For some reason if you can't talk on a certain day because you're doing something TELL HER! Don't just say I can't talk tomorrow or whatever because girls are girls and will assume the worst or just get stupid thoughts in their head that are not rational whatsoever. COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE!!!

3. Understanding - You both need to be understanding with each other. You realize you miss each other but if you just sit there on the phone and sob about how much you miss each other its going to go nowhere. You both need to stay positive and be happy with where you are. Granted you are away from each other, you need to realize that you're not going to see each other for *insert time frame* and try to keep yourself occupied as best as possible. I made this mistake when my first ex went to France. I had nothing but time on my hands and sat around and did nothing and moped around for a few months being sad because I wasn't going to see her. You CANNOT do this. You will only make yourself more sad and lonesome. Keep busy by hanging out with friends and/or family or take up some new hobbies. Again, distance magnifies everything because you cannot be there to talk things out face to face. Talking things out on the phone and/or email is not the same. Facial expressions and such are taken differently on the phone and ESPECIALLY in emails. If she has to do something on a certain night and won't be able to talk to you don't be sad but just understand that she would really love to talk to you but she can't. Same for you. She can't get mopey and sad because you can't talk to her one night or day because you're busy. Talk as much as you can and/or want. On the other hand, don't sit on the phone all day with each other telling her how much you miss her. Talking too much on the phone can backfire as well because sometimes you have nothing to talk about and then you say you want to go do something and she'll react with "What you don't want to talk to me anymore?" It's happened before. Just a warning.

4. Masturbation - Everybody is different, but most men are the same. You need your fix. Do what you need to do and take care of business. Maybe if you guys have some alone time experiement with phone sex or get some webcams and have fun with those. This section is pretty self explanatory.

Again, all these things are super important and like Charlatan said, she HAS to be on board with you all the way. If she checks out a month or two into it and doesn't tell you then it will spell the end. That's where the communication part comes in. If you two communicate then that shouldn't be a problem. It's a perpetual cycle. If one thing is wrong you'll know it and can fix it. If not and you guys are fighting all the time on the phone or whatever then it might be best to cut your losses and call it quits. I don't mean to scare you off or anything but most of the things I've said here have happened to me and/or someone I know so I know what its like to be going through it. It takes a lot of work and effort to make a LDR work but if you're willing to do that then you'll come out a better couple at the end. As they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." You sometimes take what you have for granted and don't realize what you have until you don't have it anymore. Such is the perfect example of the LDR. I miss the hell out of my girlfriend back home and it took this experience to realize how much she means to me and how much sacrifice she makes for me. I couldn't thank her enough for what shes done and her support for everything. I know in the end it will make us a better couple. My feelings for her are stronger now than they were before. A LDR forces you to become more independent, but at the same time, it also makes you realize what you have.

Good luck!