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While your daughter IS important, your happiness and mental well-being is too. After all, your daughter will be well taken care of no matter who ends up with custody, but if both you and your wife are miserable, there's no benefit to being together. My parents stayed together for the sake of us kids, and they were very unhappy people. Also she strayed once, chances are if you give her the opportunity (which it looks like you are) she will stray again.
Life is too short to be miserable for 15 years of it. The 2 of you will need counceling to truly get back together, because its obvious that you don't connect the way you did before the split. Good luck.
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If you have any poo... fling it NOW!
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