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As a person who is a flake, maybe I can offer the other side.
I am terrible at remembering people's names with their faces, much less dates. I had to write down my girlfriend's name because I couldn't remember it. I try very hard to write things down, but I don't remember. In general, I just have a hard time keeping things in line. Luckily my friends don't bust me on the minor crap, and I have in fact been there when it counted most (graduations, moving, and so on).
As long as your friend is good for what's important, why are you sweating the small things? If she said she would call and doesn't, what stopped you from phoning her? I gaurantee that the first thing she'd say is "Oh damn, I was supposed to call and forgot. Sorry." If you were having lunch on Monday and something came up, tell her you'll pick her up tomorrow. And phone her well in advance of picking her up. I mean, I'm just a graduate student. She's a single Mom, with all that going on in her life, what's amazing about her forgetting a single phone call? Not all of us are perfect. My advice- unless she has become an abusive or vampiric friend, just let it slide.
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