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SirLance · 04-30-2007, 02:05 PM

I was in PetsMart buying a large bag of Science Diet for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

Smartass that I am, I told her no, I was starting the Science Diet Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Science Diet and simply eat a handful every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

04-30-2007, 02:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	The Science Diet Diet I was in PetsMart buying a large bag of Science Diet for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh! Smartass that I am, I told her no, I was starting the Science Diet Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Science Diet and simply eat a handful every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door. __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.