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Old 04-29-2007, 11:24 AM   #9 (permalink)
abaya
 
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Location: Iceland
First love, eh? I don't really know who my first love was, if I had one at all. My first boyfriend was not my first love, though at the time, I thought he was... I was 14, he was 17, and it lasted less than 2 months. It was really just your typical short-term, high-school relationship... not love.

Then I had a male best friend whom I thought I loved, but it was not reciprocated... and can you really love someone without ever being mutually romantically involved with them? I don't know. I never found out.

Then there was my first "real" boyfriend, in college, and I suppose he comes close to being a "first love," though I still don't know what that whole relationship was really about. A year of head rushes and tearful confusion. Once again, I thought that was love at the time, but looking back, I really don't know. Dysfunctionality screws up one's notions of love. Yay for therapy.

So, I don't think I was ever healthy/mature enough to know what "love" was, not until the last few years with ktspktsp... (mid-20's). With us, as with Snowy, it is wholly different than any of the "loves" I thought I knew before. Maybe that's why we're married.

As for the OP: fond memories of all those people, yes. Second chance with ANY of them, first love or not? Hell no! That is just plain asking for trouble. That would apply even if I were still single... you just don't go there, unless you have *extremely* good reason to do so. Nostalgia/sentimentality/not getting over the person are not good reasons to try and go back in time. But, each to his/her own.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

--Khalil Gibran
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