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Work for the best but prepare for the worst. Protect yourself. I cannot stress this enough. No one will take care of you or protect you. They will in fact attack you at your (ex)wife's bidding. Specifically you will need cash that she doesn't have access to in case you get thrown out of the house should she work out for herself that doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore. Typically once the 209A hits (as we call it in MA) you will be stuck with the clothes on your back. You are in a dangerous situation that could effect you and your child for the rest of your lives.
No you are not needy in the realm of intimacy. Assuming there is nothing dysfunctional on your end it seems your wife has some things she needs to work out on her end and you may have to prod her a bit to get some resolution. Prod carefully but don't give up. The fact that you are both going to counseling bodes very well.
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"It better be funny" 
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