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When we dated, she seemed to show a normal level of affection. I feel like it declined about the time we got engaged.
We didn't have sex until after we got married, and it was a constant source of disagreement. She was pregnant within the first two and a half months of marriage, and from that point until 6-8 weeks afte birth, we did not have any form of sexual contact. After that, we've averaged once every 4-8 weeks.
Affection is not important to her. If I put my hands on her or say lift her shirt and put them on her side, she gets annoyed. She calls this irritating and needy- excessively touchy-feely.
With past relationships, I would consider this normal touching and intimate contact- expression of affection.
As of about 6-9 months ago, she considers herself bisexual- following an online relationship with a lesbian. She says she has no intention on doing this again or having a physical relationship, but she is caught up in writing lesbian fanfiction, watching the L-Word excessively, and chatting online with several lesbian friends for 20-30 hours per week, as well as talking on the phone for several hours per months.
When she met with my therapist, he led her to believe that I AM needy and unrealistic in my desire for a sexual relationship. I meet with him one on one this Thursday and can only hope he said this to humor her for information, as he told me that my feelings were rational. Everyone I have talked to so far has confirmed this. My heart tells me this. Hopefully after this session, when she and I both meet with him, something fruitful can follow. I am at my wit's end...
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