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I just grab ecinachea off the shelf at the drug store. Pill form. My mom swears that when you start feeling like you are getting a cold, pop two a day & the duration will be shorter than usual. I found it has the same results for me with outbreaks.
As for having sex while broken out, my sores are usually open only for a very short time, plus we're married with kids, so when the opportunity arises, we take advantage of it.
As for oral sex, we've been going at it for 15 years and nothing has ever spread anywhere. Obviously we don't do any of that if we're feeling icky, but aside from that we don't hesitate.
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