Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Maintaining a relationship with an infected partner

Mikado · 03-19-2007, 12:39 PM

Thanks for your feedback c172g. I guess that's kind of the information I'm looking for. What's it like living with it? How easily and quickly did you pick it up? Things like that. Genuine, to answer your question, there's no doubt that I'd continue to be her friend and support her in any way that I can. The only reason we lost touch for so long to begin with was a combination of long distance and her marriage to the jerk she was with.

My dad gave me some advice the other night that struck a cord with me. He told me that everyone has their "warts", that one thing wrong with them that you have to decide for yourself if you can get past it. Maybe it's not herpes but it could be something as simple as bad breath, big ears, crazy parents, she's already pregnant, or at my age maybe she already has a child or two. He thought we should at least proceed with the relationship when the time was right and make a point to abstain from sex until I had a better idea of just how serious the relationship was going to turn out.

If she turns out to be an incredible girl in every other aspect, then could I not learn to live with her current condition? It's not life threatening but it would be something I'd have to deal with, just like if she previously had kids or some other "wart". Obviously the fact that this is a disease it makes it slightly different than the other examples he gave, but I see where he's coming from. On top of that there are millions of people living full lives with the disease. If she's the right girl, and assuming I do end up contracting the disease, could I not be one of the millions living a full life with it as well?

I guess I'm leaning towards continuing to pursue things with her. Though I still want to make sure it's done right, and that she has time to settle the divorce and make sure she's truly ready to move on to another relationship. My parents are a little old fashioned and think we should abstain regardless, but that's the only hang-up I'm currently having. Not that I couldn't maintain a relationship without it, but it is an important aspect for me. Thanks again for the replies so far. I'm starting to feel better about the situation but I've still got a lot of thinking to do.

03-19-2007, 12:39 PM	#16 (permalink)
Mikado Crazy Location: Houston, Texas	Thanks for your feedback c172g. I guess that's kind of the information I'm looking for. What's it like living with it? How easily and quickly did you pick it up? Things like that. Genuine, to answer your question, there's no doubt that I'd continue to be her friend and support her in any way that I can. The only reason we lost touch for so long to begin with was a combination of long distance and her marriage to the jerk she was with. My dad gave me some advice the other night that struck a cord with me. He told me that everyone has their "warts", that one thing wrong with them that you have to decide for yourself if you can get past it. Maybe it's not herpes but it could be something as simple as bad breath, big ears, crazy parents, she's already pregnant, or at my age maybe she already has a child or two. He thought we should at least proceed with the relationship when the time was right and make a point to abstain from sex until I had a better idea of just how serious the relationship was going to turn out. If she turns out to be an incredible girl in every other aspect, then could I not learn to live with her current condition? It's not life threatening but it would be something I'd have to deal with, just like if she previously had kids or some other "wart". Obviously the fact that this is a disease it makes it slightly different than the other examples he gave, but I see where he's coming from. On top of that there are millions of people living full lives with the disease. If she's the right girl, and assuming I do end up contracting the disease, could I not be one of the millions living a full life with it as well? I guess I'm leaning towards continuing to pursue things with her. Though I still want to make sure it's done right, and that she has time to settle the divorce and make sure she's truly ready to move on to another relationship. My parents are a little old fashioned and think we should abstain regardless, but that's the only hang-up I'm currently having. Not that I couldn't maintain a relationship without it, but it is an important aspect for me. Thanks again for the replies so far. I'm starting to feel better about the situation but I've still got a lot of thinking to do.