Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Maintaining a relationship with an infected partner

frikirk · 03-19-2007, 05:26 AM

My girlfriend had the full suite of STD tests before we were sexually active with each other. In the past she had once tested positive for HPV but other than that, she tells me she has never tested positive for anything. Meanwhile I'd never slept with anyone or anything more than kissing a girl on 3 occasions. So we proceeded with our sexual relationship and I didn't bother getting a STD test because I'd never been sexually active. After about 6 months we broke up and I decided to get a test to see if I'd picked up anything and tests revealed I had HS2. I never have shown any symptoms or pain and aside from the whole stigma of it herpes has never affected me. My main worry is that I could infect my future wife and then when she's pregnant she could pass it onto the child during birth. Even today my girlfriend still tests negative to HS2 so there a 3 possibilities.

1. She has it but the test doesn't reveal it
2. I don't have it but the test doesn't reveal it, or there's different types of HS2 with different degrees of seriousness (although I haven't found anything to confirm this)
3. I didn't get it from her, I got it from my mother or when I kissed a girl once or some other way - a toilet seat maybe or through sport. Maybe my outbreaks are non genital or just too hard to notice.

It's bad and avoid it like the plague but it doesn't end your life and it's not always a practically serious condition.

My advice to you though is have a relationship with her not based on any sex for a long while. Long enough for her to get over the divorce and long enough for you to both work out if it's worth risking you getting infected. I think if the other ingredients in your relationship are right then it's all worth the risk.

03-19-2007, 05:26 AM	#13 (permalink)
frikirk Upright	My girlfriend had the full suite of STD tests before we were sexually active with each other. In the past she had once tested positive for HPV but other than that, she tells me she has never tested positive for anything. Meanwhile I'd never slept with anyone or anything more than kissing a girl on 3 occasions. So we proceeded with our sexual relationship and I didn't bother getting a STD test because I'd never been sexually active. After about 6 months we broke up and I decided to get a test to see if I'd picked up anything and tests revealed I had HS2. I never have shown any symptoms or pain and aside from the whole stigma of it herpes has never affected me. My main worry is that I could infect my future wife and then when she's pregnant she could pass it onto the child during birth. Even today my girlfriend still tests negative to HS2 so there a 3 possibilities. 1. She has it but the test doesn't reveal it 2. I don't have it but the test doesn't reveal it, or there's different types of HS2 with different degrees of seriousness (although I haven't found anything to confirm this) 3. I didn't get it from her, I got it from my mother or when I kissed a girl once or some other way - a toilet seat maybe or through sport. Maybe my outbreaks are non genital or just too hard to notice. It's bad and avoid it like the plague but it doesn't end your life and it's not always a practically serious condition. My advice to you though is have a relationship with her not based on any sex for a long while. Long enough for her to get over the divorce and long enough for you to both work out if it's worth risking you getting infected. I think if the other ingredients in your relationship are right then it's all worth the risk.