Kids know their parents patterns. For example; my godsons know that their mom will threaten til she is blue in the face but never act on it.
If I ask my step-son to do something he does it. After I ask then it becomes tell with usage of the middle name and the look. He knows if he doesnt do it right then grounding will ensue.
My godchildren know that Auntie Sage means business. They mouthed off to my best friend of 16 years in front of me one time. Once is all it takes.
You clean up this mess right now and be finished in 5 minutes. If you are not finished what is left on the floor goes home with me until I think you are responsible enough to take care of it. <Insert look here.> Five minutes later here I come with a garbage bag and well...
The toys were earned back over a period of 2 months. Now all that has to be done is to tell the kids Auntie Sage will be informed of their misbehavior. I dont mind being used in such a manner. Everyones kids love me half to death. I swear one day they will fracture ribs with their hugs.
They dont hate or fear me. They do know that I mean business. Auntie Sage is good for fun and loves to play games with them too... but only when their homework and chores are done.