Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Maintaining a relationship with an infected partner

Mikado · 03-17-2007, 10:02 PM

Thanks for the replies thus far guys. I appreciate it. It's been a rough couple of days trying to sift through all the thoughts and feelings. Jinn, I agree with you completely on the divorce issue. Before the revelation I made it clear that things needed to progress slowly. I think it was fortunate for us that she lives a good distance away so that we were forced to spend time apart. I really wanted to make sure she dealt with the divorce and had time to figure out what she was feeling and going through. Although all this seems minuscule given the current predicament. Also I honestly don't see them getting back together either seeing as he's currently locked up at the moment. This guy is a real prize piece if you haven't caught on to that yet.

I had a chance to discuss the situation with my family recently and their first suggestion was not to give up too quickly. They felt we should let things progress naturally and see where the relationship goes. Like I said we have a history together so she's close to my family, almost like she's their daughter already. They were just as devastated by the news as I was. I'm inclined to agree with them to an extent, I wouldn't have agreed to a relationship after the divorce had I not felt there was some potential for the long term between us. I'm pushing 30 this year so I'm not just dating to be dating. If we're going to start up a relationship it's with the intention of determining if she's someone I can spend the rest of my life with or not.

The problem is that I do feel like I could fall for her all over again. She's really a great girl and has so many qualities that I admire. I'm torn over whether this one piece of "baggage" is enough to topple every other aspect I love. I just don't know that I'm ready to take on the risk associated with the relationship. It tears me up to have to make a decision over this. On one hand if there's potential here for an amazing future together, then how do I say no? On the other there's so many risks and sacrifices involved I just don't know how well the relationship would hold up. I almost wish she had never got back in touch with me when she started with the divorce.

03-17-2007, 10:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
Mikado Crazy Location: Houston, Texas	Thanks for the replies thus far guys. I appreciate it. It's been a rough couple of days trying to sift through all the thoughts and feelings. Jinn, I agree with you completely on the divorce issue. Before the revelation I made it clear that things needed to progress slowly. I think it was fortunate for us that she lives a good distance away so that we were forced to spend time apart. I really wanted to make sure she dealt with the divorce and had time to figure out what she was feeling and going through. Although all this seems minuscule given the current predicament. Also I honestly don't see them getting back together either seeing as he's currently locked up at the moment. This guy is a real prize piece if you haven't caught on to that yet. I had a chance to discuss the situation with my family recently and their first suggestion was not to give up too quickly. They felt we should let things progress naturally and see where the relationship goes. Like I said we have a history together so she's close to my family, almost like she's their daughter already. They were just as devastated by the news as I was. I'm inclined to agree with them to an extent, I wouldn't have agreed to a relationship after the divorce had I not felt there was some potential for the long term between us. I'm pushing 30 this year so I'm not just dating to be dating. If we're going to start up a relationship it's with the intention of determining if she's someone I can spend the rest of my life with or not. The problem is that I do feel like I could fall for her all over again. She's really a great girl and has so many qualities that I admire. I'm torn over whether this one piece of "baggage" is enough to topple every other aspect I love. I just don't know that I'm ready to take on the risk associated with the relationship. It tears me up to have to make a decision over this. On one hand if there's potential here for an amazing future together, then how do I say no? On the other there's so many risks and sacrifices involved I just don't know how well the relationship would hold up. I almost wish she had never got back in touch with me when she started with the divorce.