Mikado

I don't post too often, I've been a member for a while but never been very vocal, however recently I've come across a situation that I'm at a complete loss for. I was hoping to get some feedback from the community and see if anyone else has been through similar experiences. If there's already a post about the subject please direct me in the proper direction. I was unable to find anything using the search feature.

The situation I've come across is a long story, but the latest revelation is what I'm having trouble with. Throughout my past there's been one girl that has been "the one that got away." I was head over heels for her, but the timing was never right. She ended up getting married and I thought that was the end of it. Recently I found out that she's getting a divorce. After two years the marriage was a mess. We ended up getting back in touch and have discussed rekindling our relationship. Both of us still have feelings for each other and would like to see where it takes us.

The problem is that after talking to her over the phone (it's a long distance situation temporarily) and visiting a few times, she revealed to me that she contracted Herpes from her husband. He's the only man she's been with and he swore he had no idea he was infected. Of course it was eventually revealed that he had numerous unprotected partners over the years but never felt to disclose that information to her. That's another story entirely.

Right now I'm in a state of shock. Here I was thinking that after all these years we might actually have a go at it. That we'd actually get to explore our feelings for each other. But I don't know if I can do that now. So many questions and concerns come to mind. There's no guarantee that even with protection and abstinence during outbreaks that I'll remain clean. There's no opportunity for spontaneity. More than likely too much risk for oral sex. If things progressed far enough, to the point of marriage and children, I'd have no choice but to expose myself. That wouldn't be a problem as long as things continued to work out between us. If we ever split or divorced for any reason, I've now got to explain to the next woman in my life that I'm infected. Now she's got to go through the same thought process I'm going through now which could lead to her not be interested in a relationship.

At the same time I don't want to be the insensitive prick that dropped the relationship so quickly and suddenly. We've got a lot of history together but honestly this is a big deal breaker for me. I'm curious if anyone has had or currently has a partner that is infected with some form of an STD. What's the relationship like after the revelation? Do you feel the relationship is worth the risk of infection to yourself? Have you been able to have a solid intimate relationship? I've got so many questions and I don't really know who to ask them to.

Thanks for listening.