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Originally Posted by vanblah
I don't need the Bible or any other religious dogma to teach morals or right from wrong. My concern lies mainly in making sure she has a well-rounded basis for when she makes the choice to be religious, atheist or agnostic. I can not give that to her.
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'Grampa' is a pastor, so my daughter knows a bit about religion. I try to give her very generalized, even vague answers when she asks. "What's god?" I answer, "Some people think god is a powerful man who created the universe. Other people think he is a story like Gulliver or Charlotte (the talking spider)." The idea is to explain to them that some people believe one thing and some people don't. It's important for children to understand that mommy and daddy will never, ever lie to them, and give them the best truth we know how. The truth is that a lot of people do believe and a lot of people don't, and if your kid has an understanding that there is no decisive word on the subject, he or she can enter into the situation with what I consider reasonable skepticism.
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Originally Posted by vanblah
As for 5-years-old being too young for religion, I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree with you, although it's somewhat of a generalization. However, two of her best friends (both 5) consistently spout rhetoric at her OR WORSE.
For instance, she and a friend were coloring one day. My daughter asked her friend for the blue crayon. Her friend responded with:
"Jesus doesn't want you to have the blue crayon."
What the fuck is that? I'm not making it up. This kid was not making a joke. She was very serious about it. My daughter said, "What?" (actually she said, "Hunh?" which is something that we're working on but that's a different story). The little girl said it again. This is EXACTLY what happens when a 5-year-old is "indoctrinated" into ANY religion.
I have many other examples of these kinds of dialogs. The bottom line is, when my daughter asks me to explain these things I find myself unable to.
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And when they grow up to be zealots, people don't know why. It's quite simple. I could have just as easily grown up that way. I'm very, very lucky that I have an innate skeptical nature that eventually broke free. Encourage your daughter to be assertive and not to allow the fear of god to be used to lord (no pun intended) things over her. Jesus wants us all to use the blue crayon, after all.
Edit: I would consider speaking briefly to the parents of the little bible thumper about appropriate behavior in school and maybe the actual teachings of Jesus Christ, which obviously do not include dogma concerning Crayola. That kid could grow up to be the next Pat Robertson, or President Bush.
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Originally Posted by vanblah
So Will, I agree with you about the age thing. I just don't know what to do. The questions are getting harder for me to explain or circumvent. She's persistent. Questions are a good thing. I don't want to become frustrated and discourage the questions.
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With children, I find it's important to err on the side of honesty when in doubt. Stick with that and do your best. I'm sure she'll grow up to be well adjusted and intelligent enough to make up her own mind when the time comes. Just don't be too atheist (crapping on theism) around her early on, as that could present something for her to rebel against when she's a teen. You don't want her to become a theist as her way of becoming independent. I'd say it's best if she decides to become theistic out of her own search fvor meaning to her life or the universe. It's healthier, anyway.
Best of luck.