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Lak · 02-13-2007, 01:14 AM

I may have seriously disappointed my parents. Allow me to explain.

I can be kind of a cold guy.

I don't really mean to be, of course, I just happen to be highly calculating, highly logical, literal, scientific and empirical. Too add 'emotionally distant' to this list isn't much of a stretch to say the least. I also happen to be moving out of home in two days time.

So anyway, the gist of this tale is that I don't find this a big deal at all - there comes a time, and that time is now - so deal with it. And I am. My parents however, particularly my mother, are not. So when my mother asks "Do you need me to come with you and help you move in?" and I respond "No thanks, I should be fine", I quite genuinely believe she is offering physical assistance, and I am trying to be independent and not be burdensome. Do I, Captain Objectivity, even for a second suspect she is actually referring to some kind of significant parting ritual? Hells no. And so happens (and the more emotionally attuned of you saw this coming ages ago), as embarrassingly explained by my father this evening, she is of course deeply hurt that I just told her that I don't 'need' her while moving out. Shit. I never thought of it like that. (naturally).

Such is my current situation. This is of course one of many many minor incidents involving substandard emotional insight on my part, things that only now I give second thought to. Is she over sensitive? Probably, I am her eldest. Am I cruel and distant? Pretty sure I have been for some time. My question to the older, wiser, and more parentier members of the TFP is this: how do I reconcile shutting out my mother/parents for several years? Hmmm. Help I do obviously need, I can't come up with this emotional fandanglery on my own. It just doesn't come naturally.

So in short, I recognise where I have fallen short of the mark, and likely highly disappointed my parents by growing up cold and unloving, and I really do, truly appreciate all the care and effort both have put into crafting me into a person for 20 years. What can I do to show it. How do I make up for being neglectful. These are the issues.

Thankyou TFP

Lak

02-13-2007, 01:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
Lak Insane Location: New Zealand	Not a parent rant I may have seriously disappointed my parents. Allow me to explain. I can be kind of a cold guy. I don't really mean to be, of course, I just happen to be highly calculating, highly logical, literal, scientific and empirical. Too add 'emotionally distant' to this list isn't much of a stretch to say the least. I also happen to be moving out of home in two days time. So anyway, the gist of this tale is that I don't find this a big deal at all - there comes a time, and that time is now - so deal with it. And I am. My parents however, particularly my mother, are not. So when my mother asks "Do you need me to come with you and help you move in?" and I respond "No thanks, I should be fine", I quite genuinely believe she is offering physical assistance, and I am trying to be independent and not be burdensome. Do I, Captain Objectivity, even for a second suspect she is actually referring to some kind of significant parting ritual? Hells no. And so happens (and the more emotionally attuned of you saw this coming ages ago), as embarrassingly explained by my father this evening, she is of course deeply hurt that I just told her that I don't 'need' her while moving out. Shit. I never thought of it like that. (naturally). Such is my current situation. This is of course one of many many minor incidents involving substandard emotional insight on my part, things that only now I give second thought to. Is she over sensitive? Probably, I am her eldest. Am I cruel and distant? Pretty sure I have been for some time. My question to the older, wiser, and more parentier members of the TFP is this: how do I reconcile shutting out my mother/parents for several years? Hmmm. Help I do obviously need, I can't come up with this emotional fandanglery on my own. It just doesn't come naturally. So in short, I recognise where I have fallen short of the mark, and likely highly disappointed my parents by growing up cold and unloving, and I really do, truly appreciate all the care and effort both have put into crafting me into a person for 20 years. What can I do to show it. How do I make up for being neglectful. These are the issues. Thankyou TFP Lak __________________ ignorance really is bliss.