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Sage · 01-26-2007, 11:22 PM

Talk to your parents. Nothing can be gained by clamming up (both sides doing so) except poor communication, resentment, and years of bitterness.

Sit down with them, talk openly with them, and act like you care about them! They are probably having to deal with the very hard and harsh reality of perhaps not making the best of their lives- seeing your success might be opening old wounds that they thought would be closed forever. Perhaps they wanted to go to grad school but then you were born? Or perhaps your mom always wanted to work but has some deep inner feelings about a mother's duty to her children.

There's nothing to lose by opening a discussion with your parents- just make it ABSLOUTELY clear that you want to talk about it not to judge, or condemm, or make them feel bad, but because you're their daughter and want to remain close to them. Let them vent, hear them out, and let them hear you out.

Honesty in all things really is the best policy, and smoothes SO many things over.. there's so many times in my life where I thought I'd have to tell a lie, but when I told the truth the outcome was 100% better than I could have imagined...

Also, thanking your parents for raising you and taking care of you- letting them know that you could not have gotten to where you are today without them instilling their work ethic into you and raising you right- that will go a LONG way.. they might be feeling like you're "too good" or "too educated" for them. Let them know that THEY ARE THE REASON you are you! In addition, remember that they might be dealing with seeing "their baby" finally all grown up and making it for yourself, and that's hard on any parent- especialy if they feel like they're not needed any more (and if you're finacially independent, that's a huge feeling of not being needed for a parent.)

Hope this helps... remember that they do love you, but they're people too and going through some tough feelings right now! Reach out with love, honesty, and compassion and I'm sure you can sort everything out!

01-26-2007, 11:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Talk to your parents. Nothing can be gained by clamming up (both sides doing so) except poor communication, resentment, and years of bitterness. Sit down with them, talk openly with them, and act like you care about them! They are probably having to deal with the very hard and harsh reality of perhaps not making the best of their lives- seeing your success might be opening old wounds that they thought would be closed forever. Perhaps they wanted to go to grad school but then you were born? Or perhaps your mom always wanted to work but has some deep inner feelings about a mother's duty to her children. There's nothing to lose by opening a discussion with your parents- just make it ABSLOUTELY clear that you want to talk about it not to judge, or condemm, or make them feel bad, but because you're their daughter and want to remain close to them. Let them vent, hear them out, and let them hear you out. Honesty in all things really is the best policy, and smoothes SO many things over.. there's so many times in my life where I thought I'd have to tell a lie, but when I told the truth the outcome was 100% better than I could have imagined... Also, thanking your parents for raising you and taking care of you- letting them know that you could not have gotten to where you are today without them instilling their work ethic into you and raising you right- that will go a LONG way.. they might be feeling like you're "too good" or "too educated" for them. Let them know that THEY ARE THE REASON you are you! In addition, remember that they might be dealing with seeing "their baby" finally all grown up and making it for yourself, and that's hard on any parent- especialy if they feel like they're not needed any more (and if you're finacially independent, that's a huge feeling of not being needed for a parent.) Hope this helps... remember that they do love you, but they're people too and going through some tough feelings right now! Reach out with love, honesty, and compassion and I'm sure you can sort everything out! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi