yonique

I guess I should clarify my original post. I was married for 16 yrs, my husband was aware of my difficulties (unable to cum unless I stim'd my clit or was given oral for 45+ min), he did not attempt to try anything new or different to help me. Any suggestions from me were greeted with suspicion as to where I heard about it and why was it such a big deal. My 3 subsequent relationships after my divorce were also with men, I was honest with them as well. The first guy was very full of himself, confident he could make me cum. I believed him, we tried everything 2 people could do alone. In the end it bothered him that I couldn't cum. It became such an issue that we avoided sex and the relationship fizzled out. We were together a year. My second relationship was a little longer (18months) He was not bothered by my inabilty/difficulty to cum but he was not so much into oral so for the most part I stimulated myself during sex. He was very open to new things so we tried everything 2 or more people could do. I would get very turned on but the moment sex started or someone else took over stimming my clit the feeling would fade. I was not afraid to coach, but again nothing worked. It did not bother him as much as it bothered me that I was having these troubles. The fact that I had been in the room and sexually involved with other women and couples and seen how they responded just made it worse for me. This relationship ended for many reasons, my sexual difficulties contributed... they were always a black cloud hanging over us. After about a year I started dating again, I met a wonderful man who I live with today. He is a patient attentive and adenterous lover, I know if I were honest with him he would do anything I wanted but I just don't have it in me to try anymore. Men take it so personally when they don't "make a women cum" they don't like to know they just don't do it for you. I would take it personally too if I wasn't able to please my man. Orgasm is just not important to me anymore. I enjoy sex, the intimacy and closeness even more now that I am not tyring so hard (in vain) to cum. It's less stressful and so much easier to let him think I came. I do feel bad for lying but I see no point in spending the rest of my life desperately trying to achieve something that just isn't going to happen. As for watching porn, it is not the only thing that gets me off. I do not sit around all day watching it either... I mentioned it just to give everyone an idea of all the things I have been willing to do. I wanted to know if my situation was rare since I am the only woman I know who has these problems.