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Old 01-16-2007, 08:56 PM   #46 (permalink)
Gilda
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Location: Out on a wire.
There's nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to any person who is sexually mature, so that part is easy to deal with. If that is the primary or exclusive attraction, which is called ephebophilia, it's unhealthy if it prevents or significantly interferes with connecting sexually and emotionally to to others your own age.

As to whether it would be wrong to act on it, that's something that's very difficult to pin down and must be decided on an individual basis. Maturity levels, actual age difference, and the specific type of relationship are all factors that need to be taken into account. If a 21-year-old had wanted to date my sister when she was 15, I'd have been very reluctant to go along with that because of age issues and safety issues unique to her situation. An 18-year-old probably wouldn't have been as problematic, particularly if he were still in high school at the time. At 21, she's free to pursue whom she pleases; I've seen her on dates with a guy in his 30's and with a 17-year-old freshman; neither was a problem for me. I'm more concerned with how he treats her as a person than his age. Once you get past about 20 years old, age differences become much less important unless they're on the extreme side.

In short, age difference is one factor among many to consider. Individuals vary. There's nothing wrong with those guys being attracted to your sister; whether it's a good idea for her to date them is going to depend on the specifics of the situation.
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