Drider_it

A little background..

my family both sides have been touched by this evil entity. I call it this cuz good people die from this as well as others.

My uncles 3 of them now died from it. I watched as they literally wasted away in a years time. I remember of it all the hate i had in my heart. That these great men in my life had to die with out dignity. Thier once great minds reduced to infancy due to the cancer and drugs.

My last uncle that died.. I was there that night. I wont go into details about what happened but the fact that just touching him .. brought him back to us for the briefest of moments.. I saw the eyes i saw all my life fill with life once more. My reward was a smile that began this universe. The next day that light was gone.

I lost the woman i respected most in my life. No one.. not even my wife comes close to the respect i have to my grandmother. I was in michigan when she passed away. I remember tearing apart a car in a fit of rage. The one time in my life i was happy for myself was she would have a great grand son from me and see him. about a month later my 1st son was born.

I swear i wish cancer was a corporal being. I would get life for what i would do to it. how much i hate it.

My dad fought throat cancer for 2 years.. He won but a small victory. It could come back at any time.

I turned 34 dec 10 and this feb im gonna go get checked for cancer. I guess ill go get checked every 6 months. Im that paranoid of it. True, it dosent matter in a way.. I should live my life to the fullest and not dwell on something that might not even happen.. but honestly it scares me.

Im afraid of it. Granted I dont stay up at night in a cold sweat but still.

I dont know.. I tend to rant alot.. but untill recently in the past 4 or so years.. i guess mortality has finally sneaked into my being and my thoughts.

God i hate cancer

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It means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resoultely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It is the law a war wizard lives by, or he dies.