As a update, my friend and I have talked and we seriously have no problems with what has happened, nor do we resent each other. We still love each other like the best friends that we have been for a while.
On a side note, one thing I forgot to include was the lenght of his and mine relationship. This is not a 6 months long .... this is we've been together for alittle over 5 years.
All that it seems to be boiling down to is holiday stress, him quitting smoking, and my adjusting to a new medication that is totally throwing me alittle bit. Oh, and losing my car to old age.
I've done alot of thinking. I still have no regrets. I wouldn't mind seeing another round of it happening. This is not some too the extreme move we've move. We've done quite a few new things over the years to build up to this point. And, a open relationship can or can not work depending on what factors are involved. Age really isn't a factor for us, but it is always one of the few questions that pops up from members, which is why I included it.
In short, I'm riding out til after the holidays are over. Mid January I'm thinking. About that time I feel that I can settle out til the following Christmas. For some reason, December seems to feel like the month that everything falls apart. I've always had car troubles around this time. My ex gives me a hard time over how we're splitting up the time for visitation. Which I really need to turn around and give him one over the July visits. I haven't gotten my turn in 4 years, so I don't do any fireworks which is no fun.
I still feel the same for him. And I still feel the same towards my friend. I'm trying very very hard to cut back on any yelling. I've given myself a few headaches so far in trying so hard not to. I'm not saying it's impossible to stop, but it's going to be a hell of a trip to stop. I think I've managed to keep it down to one yell so far but that was cause I was trying to get both my mother and daughter to stop bickering at each other.
Oh...and for you nail biters out there that have done it for years out of nervousness..... I'm trying to quit that and it's driving me insane!
So, in short, I'm adjusting to the best of my ability.
Or.... at least I think I am.
Merry Christmas and thanks to all of you.
suzz04