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Originally Posted by Sultana
Also, you could promise to take the debt upon yourself and pay him back over time. That's more than many in your shoes have done.
No matter how bad it may be now, if this is truely how you feel and it's not just cold feet, it's only going to get worse the longer you let it continue.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. You have the power to get out of this situation. As someone very wise here said once, you are not responsible for her mental well-being, not even for her happiness. She is. You will not be doing her any favors by sacrificing your life and your happiness to prop her up.
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I echo everything that Sultana has said. Pay back the parents, and take responsibility for yourself--only yourself--in this situation. That would be the wisest, and ultimately kindest, thing you could do for her.
She has got to learn how to deal with life's shit at some point, and it starts here. This will certianly not be the worst thing she ever has to face in life, but perhaps it's the worst thing she's faced so far. Sucks to inflict that on someone, but if they haven't developed sufficient coping skills (or are not at least putting effort into acquiring them, via counseling or whatever), then that's not your job. That's just plain growing up.
Best of luck, man. Strangely, I don't know if this is relevant to you, but there are plenty of engaged/formerly-engaged people (typically women, but still very relevant to your situation) over on
kvetch.indiebride.com who have suffered through doubts and either decided to go through with it, or broke up with their fiances and moved on. It may be helpful for you to see how women have dealt with similar situations.