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Happy Holidays, from Hal
Merry Fucking Christmas. I wrote this song today.
sleigh bells, listen listen
they're coming for us
cyberskin is porous
this song has no chorus
its just a stream of words
that rhyme with tyranosaurus
fate
its coming here tonight
with 9 horny reindeer
and he's looking for a fight
red
the hue of blood-decked halls
a whole year of lying dormant
he's as fat as biggie smalls
it's SANTA!!!!
he's gonna kick your ass
you know where the boot is going
as sure as you're lance bass
he's got three ho's in his sleigh
he calls them to his side
his cheek rosy from their lipstick
their hotness bonifide
leanin' on his candy cane
drinkin' cider from his flask
he's callin' out their slutty names
prepares them for their task
"Down Donna, down Sharon, down Tanya, down vixens!"
"Your daddy's lookin' for a lick of your homemade fixin's"
With his frosting on their gingersnaps
he sent his ho's away
its time to roll across the moon
in his West Coast Customs pimp sleigh
You see, Santa is a badass
He'll sell you thirty Key's
You ask if his snow's legit
psshh, nigga please.
-A G
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