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A couple of questions:
1. Are you having any kind of celebration or reception for bigger family and friends? If so, perhaps she could be involved in that instead of the actual ceremony.
2. If you let her attend, will it cause hurt feelings among other friends and family? Is she close enough to you to be considered "family?" Do your other cousins/relatives live close to you? If not, you could easily justify her attending and them not.
If there's no reason not to have her attend besides that it's not what you envisioned, what would it hurt to have her there? If it's going to cause hard feelings and open the door to other people whining about why they can't be there, then explain to her gently that the ceremony is for immediate family only (and that her presence would cause problems with the rest of the family). If it's possible to have her be involved some other way, like at the reception to give a toast, offer that to her instead.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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