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I couldn't get in to read your history, which will make my reply even more candid.
Find and make your own happiness. There is nobody on the planet that can honestly have more interest in you than you. Once you're happy with yourself, others will follow. Ones with breasts if that's what you prefer. Let it come to you and be yourself. Don't change yourself or your identity to fit with a group or a person. The old saying "be true to yourself" is one I tell myself daily.
One last bit. Don't be too critical of yourself and find pleasure in new things. Read non-fiction.
Regards, T
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