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Well, like everyone keeps saying a lot, communication is key.
My main question is: Do you know why she is reluctant? Do you really? Because you haven't told us and at least for me, I can't even begin to understand why the two of you have this problem if I don't know why she is reluctant.
It could be SO many things.
Let's try and break down possible reasons.
Ok, did you guys have sex a lot before? Because you say you've only been unhappy for about a year and a bit. What was enough before and isn't now?
What happened inbetween that changed things?
You say you were high-school sweethearts. Could it be that you've grown apart and she can see it but you can't, but she's reluctant to be straight with you?
Is she no longer attracted/less attracted to you? Why could that be?
Could she be cheating on you at all or thinking about someone else? When you guys decided to take some time off, what made you get back together again so soon?
You say that there are issues she has about your attitude to things, being negative and not communicating enough. Are you sure you've really done something about those issues or are you just sugarcoating things for her now that things are fragile? If it's cosmetic, she'll know the difference. Also, if there are such major issues that both of you feel the other has to change, chances are you might not make it in the long run.
Is her libido lower from any medication or contraception she's taking? Could also be part of it.
Could she have always had a lower sex drive and before she was just in the "enchantment phase" with you so she wanted sex more?
Is there something about the actual sex that is bothering her? Is she in discomfort or having a physical problem that she's too embarrassed to tell you about?
At the end of the day, this may be too big/complicated a hurdle for you to overcome. If it continues to drag on, it will only lead to resentment and a nasty break-up. I don't think people should give up easily and I hate it when people tell me there's other fish in the sea. Yes there are and if you break up you'll be fine. But it's worth a shot, especially if it's what you chose once. There are many choices you can make but you only have one life. I don't believe in giving up on people easily, especially if I care deeply about them.
I think it's worth a try but don't beat yourself up about it if you can't change the situation. It may not have a solution, or not have one with you.
Sorry for asking you so many questions and not giving you many answers.
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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