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Ruse · 12-13-2006, 12:01 PM

I'm really not sure to start with this, so I guess I'll just jump in..

A week ago, my girlfriend and I celebrated four years of being together ( We were high school sweet hearts and now are going to college together - both in our 20's ). Unfortunately, for the majority of the past year and a half I've been very unsatisfied with our love life ( Which I've been telling her for that year and a half - I've had the feeling that nothing has changed but over and over again, she tells me that she is trying. ) and recently we have been fighting a lot ( About the things we need to work on in the relationship - Communication, my negative attitude, removing pressure from the relationship, love life, etc. ). After fighting, it was decided that it was time for a short "break" ( Which lasted all of a day ) and now we're going through the same conversations again...

Throughout the relationship, every time I brought up our love life, she has made it out to be insignificant. Honestly, I'm not trying to base the entire relationship around sex.. it was just the only thing really missing for me. I told her those words almost exactly but I don’t know what to do now - still, nothing is being done. What makes it worse for me is that I've had no problem working on other aspects of our relationship that she felt were needed ( I have been actively trying to do things for her within the relationship - be more open to talking and spending more time together ) but when it came to my needs and concerns, I've always felt that my requests fell on deaf ears... which is possibly why we have the communication problem to begin with.

Now I think we're down to about 2-3 times a month on a good month. When it does happen, she always seems reluctant or wants to just get it over with and only wants to stay in one position - missionary. As I'm sure some of you can imagine, the idea of making love to someone who is reluctant is an instant turn-off. At this point, I have no idea what to do... I've been seriously wondering if the relationship was even worth it.

Any ideas?

I just want to say thank you for anyone that took the time to read this and/or comment on it. I really do appreciate it.

12-13-2006, 12:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ruse Crazy	Relationship Trouble.. I'm really not sure to start with this, so I guess I'll just jump in.. A week ago, my girlfriend and I celebrated four years of being together ( We were high school sweet hearts and now are going to college together - both in our 20's ). Unfortunately, for the majority of the past year and a half I've been very unsatisfied with our love life ( Which I've been telling her for that year and a half - I've had the feeling that nothing has changed but over and over again, she tells me that she is trying. ) and recently we have been fighting a lot ( About the things we need to work on in the relationship - Communication, my negative attitude, removing pressure from the relationship, love life, etc. ). After fighting, it was decided that it was time for a short "break" ( Which lasted all of a day ) and now we're going through the same conversations again... Throughout the relationship, every time I brought up our love life, she has made it out to be insignificant. Honestly, I'm not trying to base the entire relationship around sex.. it was just the only thing really missing for me. I told her those words almost exactly but I don’t know what to do now - still, nothing is being done. What makes it worse for me is that I've had no problem working on other aspects of our relationship that she felt were needed ( I have been actively trying to do things for her within the relationship - be more open to talking and spending more time together ) but when it came to my needs and concerns, I've always felt that my requests fell on deaf ears... which is possibly why we have the communication problem to begin with. Now I think we're down to about 2-3 times a month on a good month. When it does happen, she always seems reluctant or wants to just get it over with and only wants to stay in one position - missionary. As I'm sure some of you can imagine, the idea of making love to someone who is reluctant is an instant turn-off. At this point, I have no idea what to do... I've been seriously wondering if the relationship was even worth it. Any ideas? I just want to say thank you for anyone that took the time to read this and/or comment on it. I really do appreciate it.