thelifeandtimes

Here’s the story. Back in February, the girl I had been dating for a year broke it off rather abruptly and harshly. It tore me apart. She was my first love. Two months later I met this wonderful girl and we instantly had a great connection and hung out and talked constantly. We had nearly everything in common. Soon after we started dating which led to us becoming exclusive not long after that. Our relationship quickly blossomed into something I had never experienced before and we both came to the conclusion we had fallen for each other very quickly. Love was introduced into our relationship. After that point we became closer and closer and started thinking about what it would be like if we were married and had kids and lived together. The thinking slowly became planning. At one point we were both convinced that we were meant to be together forever and the thought alone gave me those ever so sweet butterflies. Even her family wants us to eventually get married. Her mom already calls me her son-in-law. <BR>
At first I was content with the thought that she could be my wife in 6-7 years or so, but for the last month or so, something has been nagging at me. I’m starting to think maybe this isn’t what I want right now. I’m starting to wonder if maybe we have too much in common. Maybe this isn’t as serious as I want to be right now. I jumped right into a extremely serious relationship from another and I am beginning to think it was a mistake. I feel as if I maybe missing out on several things and experiences in life. Don’t get me wrong, I do love her and care for her a great deal, but I wake up almost on a daily basis wishing that I would’ve met her several years from now, not at this junction in my life. Not this young. <BR>
Granted, I am ready in a sense to be in a straight committed relationship, but a part of me wants out. I don’t want to feel as if I’m already married, and that is exactly what I have been feeling like lately. Suffocated nearly. I know what I have with her and what she offers me and the way she treats me is something that is hard to find, so it’s not that I don’t appreciate and comprehend what we have, its just all a little too intense for where I am at in my life. I want the relationship we have now, but in several years when I can safely say I have lived how I wanted to live, you know? But the problem in lies how she would take all of this. She has a lot of psychological problems and disorders and is extremely dependant on me for support and the like. I am afraid at how she would take it all. And when are together these feelings and thoughts I have, seem to subside and everything is back to being perfect, until the next time we are apart then all the thoughts return. So then I think that these are just normal thoughts and fears and brush them aside, but lately it has started to become harder and harder to forget.<BR>
I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I have been so scatterbrained the last few days that its noticeable to everyone. I know I should talk to her, but, when someone has so much into a relationship and is counting on so much, how can you let them down easily? I need some advice.