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I don't know how I missed this thread, but let me tell you that I really feel your pain. I went through some of this stuff when I first got married, and boy did it ever suck. My wife and I went from throughly enjoying holidays, when we were single, to dreading them. My parents were relentless with the guilt trips and angry phone messages if they didn't get what they wanted. I could write a book about the controlling parents from hell!!
Anyhow, it looks like neither of you caved to their demands, which I applaud. I'm sure the same kind of situation will arise at Christmas, so just continue to be firm with your families. Spend Christmas how you would want to spend it, not how they want you to spend it.
Sometimes, as in my case, it takes quite a bit of support from each other to make the holidays a happy time. There may be a lot of negativity cast in your direction, which can take a bit to overcome.
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