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I used to never ever cry, mostly due to emotional abuse as a kid, and tears were a trumpet announcing my vulnerability, and the success of my tormentor--which typically triggered more abuse.
After counseling, I allowed myself the luxury of emotional release. Now I cry when I'm sad, angry, happy, all the damn time. BUT I'm very good at hiding it. I cry at movies, music, and life situations. I think I mostly cry when I'm angry (hello, rage might be a better word), which infuriates me even more--lack of control, announcement of vulnerability. I tend to be very much in control, or at least that's what I strive for.
I have seen my hubby cry, typically when remembering a family member who has passed on. It never bothers me--the crying itself. If we're having a discussion, and he gets emotional and I don't, well there's always the discomfort of being on two different emotional levels.
But his actual release into tears makes me feel like we're similar people. I'd hate it if I was the only one who cried, between the two of us.
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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -
Matt Groening
My goal? To fulfill my potential.
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