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First, yes, of course there are drugs that will lower libido. There is a class of drugs known as anti-androgens, most of which are designed to combat androgen sensitive cancers or prostate problems, progesterones, a type of female hormone, and at least one high-blood pressure medicine. They all do basically the same thing in different ways, which is to lower the androgen activity in the bloodstream, which has an effect on libido, though how strong this effect is can vary from person to person depending on their endocrine system profile.
You don't want to do this because the sex drive you describe is normal and healthy and isn't in itself causing you problems, and the problem isn't with the sex drive so much as the frustration involved in your sexual relationship with your wife. The drugs involved also have side effects that you don't want to risk if it isn't necessary. Reducing your sex drive might offer some relief of one of the symptoms, but it isn't going to fix the underlying problem, which will still be there and still need to be addressed.
In regards to the suggestion above that you just take charge and tie her up and go about your business, for a person who is into sexual submission this can be very frustrating, which can in turn be very stimulating. I speak from quite a bit of experience as the sub in a d/s relationship. The frustration that comes from the teasing, the feeling of helplessness and giving over power to another person, those can all be powerful stimulants for the right person.
The key here is for the right person and doing it safely and with respect for the other person. You must discuss it with her first, make sure that she's really into it, establish boundaries, and set up a safety word along with an understanding that you will both honor it if things go to far. Bondage and domination play can be an absolute blast with the right partner, but it isn't something you get into without making sure that both are into it and both know the rules and boundaries.
Don't look at counseling as a failure. You have a problem that you need to deal with and there are people who specialize in helping people sort through this sort of problem. Counseling for a couple's problem is going to be most effective if both people go, but you can still get something out of it with just one person.
Please get some professional help. It really is your best course of action.
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