View Single Post
Old 11-26-2006, 03:07 AM   #29 (permalink)
little_tippler
Leaning against the -Sun-
 
little_tippler's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: on the other side
I agree, this sounds like a normal problem for many couples, a lot of womens' libidos aren't as high as the guys'. It really sucks and believe me I'm sure she worries about it too, but it might be beyond her to change that right now. Being on the other side of the fence, maybe I can offer some advice.

Are you sure she has no problems with anything? I mean, there could be something she's really displeased with in regards to you and so that makes her not want to have sex. Or maybe she doesn't feel as excited about you as before and can't get worked up as often for you. Try and keep things fresh and surprise her with new things once in a while - that don't focus on sex. I get the romantic thing, but if you've tried that, there must be something else you're doing that's still dampening her spirits. Apart from that, there could be a medical issue that she doesn't want to tell you about, because she's embarrassed. Is she in pain during sex? Is she unable to orgasm for some reason? Maybe sex isn't all that wonderful for her.

I'm sorry to throw this possibility out there, but have you considered that maybe there was always a problem, only before she was trying to make things work and please you? And now she's starting to think, I can't do this anymore. He needs to do this or that right. Or - I need to work out my problem because I can't face lying anymore.

Apart from these reasons, if there's nothing else, maybe her sex drive really has gone down and it might not change, whatever you do. It could just be that you are no longer sexually compatible. You can try and change your own libido, but I doubt that will make you happy. It might just be that you'll eventually have to move on, if you can't come to terms with the situation. I don't think that you should have to.

I hope you are able to work things out.
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.


Fernando Pessoa, 1918
little_tippler is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360