I agree, this sounds like a normal problem for many couples, a lot of womens' libidos aren't as high as the guys'. It really sucks and believe me I'm sure she worries about it too, but it might be beyond her to change that right now. Being on the other side of the fence, maybe I can offer some advice.
Are you sure she has no problems with anything? I mean, there could be something she's really displeased with in regards to you and so that makes her not want to have sex. Or maybe she doesn't feel as excited about you as before and can't get worked up as often for you. Try and keep things fresh and surprise her with new things once in a while - that don't focus on sex. I get the romantic thing, but if you've tried that, there must be something else you're doing that's still dampening her spirits. Apart from that, there could be a medical issue that she doesn't want to tell you about, because she's embarrassed. Is she in pain during sex? Is she unable to orgasm for some reason? Maybe sex isn't all that wonderful for her.
I'm sorry to throw this possibility out there, but have you considered that maybe there was always a problem, only before she was trying to make things work and please you? And now she's starting to think, I can't do this anymore. He needs to do this or that right. Or - I need to work out my problem because I can't face lying anymore.
Apart from these reasons, if there's nothing else, maybe her sex drive really has gone down and it might not change, whatever you do. It could just be that you are no longer sexually compatible. You can try and change your own libido, but I doubt that will make you happy. It might just be that you'll eventually have to move on, if you can't come to terms with the situation. I don't think that you should have to.
I hope you are able to work things out.
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
|