Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Average_Joe
My SO sometimes brings up the fact that I have never "cried for her", and wonders if I lack some passion in our relationship. As an adult, I can say that I've never been an emotional type of person. I never get too happy, or too sad, or too angry, etc. I think it bothers her a little that my personality is like this. She points out that I didn't cry at our wedding, or when we nearly broke up, or when our kids were born, or when we have gone through some rough, scary times. I just don't cry!
|
Everyone reacts to stressors, both positive and negative, differently. It's absurd to base an opinion like "you're not passionate enough" on the simple fact that you don't cry.
She wanted to see you hurt, or elated, at those other times that she was hurt, or elated. She felt like you didn't care as much as she did simply because you didn't cry. It's also bunk to be told "I just don't cry" isn't a reason simply because other guys she's dated in the past have cried.
Again- everyone is affected by things differently, and your lack of crying does not mean you're not just as passionately attached, or filled with sadness, as the one bawling her eyes out.
I loved my grandfather deeply. I lost him overnight- while we were visiting for the weekend- to a stroke. I didn't cry- I was 8. I mourned him, but I just don't cry. Some people just don't express sadness/elation like that. Just help her understand that.
Influenced by society? Yes. Influenced by your biology? Yes. Therefore- the same for everyone? Obviously no.