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There's only really one hard empirical test in my experience.
Right after ejaculation when you're in your little reverie and they immediately turn to you and want to discuss Kant or Nietzsche or whatever, do you want to smack them in the face and kick them out of the house with no clothes or do you look at them with big eyes and listen intently, lovingly to their bullshit? I find you will forgive almost anything in the rush to fulfill the biological imperative, but afterwards - if you're still willing to have them around -
that's love.
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