If you read your posts as an outsider, you'd see yourself a bit clearer. You are going through a depression.
For some reason, people have the wrong idea of what depression is. Read up on it. It doesn't mean you're a mental case, it doesn't mean you should be locked away for your own safety. Every thing you have said points directly to it. You could have cancer and it'd be linked to your depression because it's an illness of imbalance, as are most auto-immune diseases, heart disease, diseases of the digestive system and endocrine system. When we stop caring, we get sicker. When we continue to not care, illness gets worse.
Signs of depression:
Noticeable change of appetite, with either significant weight loss not attributable to dieting or weight gain.
Noticeable change in sleeping patterns, such as fitful sleep, inability to sleep, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much.
Loss of interest and pleasure in activities formerly enjoyed.
Loss of energy, fatigue.
Feelings of worthlessness.
Persistent feelings of hopelessness.
Feelings of inappropriate guilt.
Inability to concentrate or think, indecisiveness.
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide, wishing to die, or attempting suicide. (Note: People suffering this symptom should receive treatment immediately!)
Melancholia (defined as overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief), accompanied by waking at least two hours earlier than normal in the morning, feeling more depressed in the morning, and moving significantly more slowly.
Disturbed thinking, a symptom developed by some severely depressed persons. For example, severely depressed people sometimes have beliefs not based in reality about physical disease, sinfulness, or poverty.
Physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches.
Irritability.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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