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gotekix · 11-08-2006, 10:19 PM

I'm sitting here writing this because I honestly don't know what to do. I've become so fed up with my life and can't figure out a viable solution. My job sucks. The few friends I have live in other states and I've lost contact with. I've been depressed on and off my entire life but it's becoming so bad I can't function.

Ontop of it all I've been diagnosed with a whole array of medical issues in the past year but I can't receive proper treatment since I have no real medical insurace. I'm relegated to the "in & out" clinics where you wait for hours to see a doctor then he takes a quick look at you and sends you on your way without proper inspection and diagnosis.

I've always been the runt in a dysfunctional family, thus I've been the target of frequent neglect. I've completely disassociated from my family besides my brother whom which I live with now. To him I'm a "lazy bum" and he doesn't want me living her much longer.

My job isn't terrible compared to other jobs but it doesn't pay very well in comparison to the cost of living in the city. After taxes I'm left with barely enough to cover the cost of rent and food. The main reason I hate my job is the fact that I'm quite possibly the most intelligent and skilled worker in the office but only because I'm young and have no college degree I'm stuck filing papers and doing menial tasks.

I think about suicide every single day but it doesn't seem like a viable option. It's not that I don't want to live life, I don't want to live this life.

I want to leave this life behind, go somewhere completely new and start anew. I just want to be off the grid, never to be found by anyone in my current life. I feel like going to the bus station and taking a bus as far as it can take me. This leads into another problem. How do I do that? Where would I even go? How would I even live? Would this even solve anything or only make matters worse? It's catch-22.

I know this is a sob story and you're probably tired of reading this but I'm in desperate need of advice. I don't even have anyone to talk to who would listen to me.

11-08-2006, 10:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
gotekix Upright Location: Seattle	I've hit a brick wall... (need advice) I'm sitting here writing this because I honestly don't know what to do. I've become so fed up with my life and can't figure out a viable solution. My job sucks. The few friends I have live in other states and I've lost contact with. I've been depressed on and off my entire life but it's becoming so bad I can't function. Ontop of it all I've been diagnosed with a whole array of medical issues in the past year but I can't receive proper treatment since I have no real medical insurace. I'm relegated to the "in & out" clinics where you wait for hours to see a doctor then he takes a quick look at you and sends you on your way without proper inspection and diagnosis. I've always been the runt in a dysfunctional family, thus I've been the target of frequent neglect. I've completely disassociated from my family besides my brother whom which I live with now. To him I'm a "lazy bum" and he doesn't want me living her much longer. My job isn't terrible compared to other jobs but it doesn't pay very well in comparison to the cost of living in the city. After taxes I'm left with barely enough to cover the cost of rent and food. The main reason I hate my job is the fact that I'm quite possibly the most intelligent and skilled worker in the office but only because I'm young and have no college degree I'm stuck filing papers and doing menial tasks. I think about suicide every single day but it doesn't seem like a viable option. It's not that I don't want to live life, I don't want to live this life. I want to leave this life behind, go somewhere completely new and start anew. I just want to be off the grid, never to be found by anyone in my current life. I feel like going to the bus station and taking a bus as far as it can take me. This leads into another problem. How do I do that? Where would I even go? How would I even live? Would this even solve anything or only make matters worse? It's catch-22. I know this is a sob story and you're probably tired of reading this but I'm in desperate need of advice. I don't even have anyone to talk to who would listen to me.