MEAD

I've only been to one strip club before, last year. We (me and two of my buddies) were bored one night so we decided to go to Cafe Risque not so much because we wanted to see boobs, but because Cafe Risque is a 24 hour truck stop/ diner/ full strip club. Yeah, it's crazy and on our way to and from school and home there are tons of billboards. We always wondered what it was like in there. So we finally went.
It was entertaining at the time and it was great to see some real-live naked women after being single for about a year. But the best was hearing my very dear and innocent friend say on the ride home, "That was the closest I've ever been to a naked boob." It one of the most funny/ most endearing things I've ever heard, oddly.

The next day when I woke up I felt dirty and gross. I don't plan on going back to a strip club anytime soon.

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Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die.
"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."