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The past couple of years it seems like I've been doing nothing with family besides managing hysteria and trying to mend bridges that others burned. Here's my advice. Take it as you will.
Write your mother a one-sentence response:
I am sorry you feel this way.
Leave it at that. If she writes you another e-mail, don't read it. If you read it, don't respond to it.
In two weeks, write her another e-mail. Do not acknowledge any e-mails she may have sent in the interum. In this message, pull out some sentimental crap: "I was talking with a friend about ______ and it reminded me of [insert mushy childhood memory involving family]." Then state that you really are sad that you can't be there for Thanksgiving. Then tell her how much your fiance was looking forward to it. Ramble (in the same e-mail) about several little things you love about your fiance. End it with, "I just can't wait to see the whole family together at [insert next holiday/family event you will definitely be at]."
Sometimes the only way to deal with nonsense is to ignore it.
__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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