For those of you that are taking the time to <i>really</i> think about this:
I am 27 years old and I just celebrated my third little girls b-day in August. I have a 7 year old and a 4.5 yr. old also. I got preggers at 19 and had her at 20. I had always wanted to be a Mom. I am the oldest of 13 grandchildren, and helped raise them all from the time I was old enough to hold them and feed them.
I will however admit that some of the things that Mrs. Master said do ring true in daily life. But for us, we talk to our girls and have spent time teaching them about why the things they might want, aren't always best for them. My girls are still young, but I hope to instill values in them that happiness can't be bought.
I enjoy my kids and I find that seeing them smile is a great reward for helping them finish their homework so they can go play, or hugging the tears away when they fall down and seeing them happy again. Yeah, food costs money, cloths the same as well as everything else that comes with having more mouths to feed and cloth, but that's something that is expected when you get preggers, theres no avoiding that. There is a way to avoid setting yourself up to have to dress them like everyone else, or buy them all the same toys as everyone else. They might not like it right away, but as they get bigger, they will start to understand the values you were trying to instill in them.
Does this mean that I don't lose my damn mind somedays...absolutely not! I go nuts all the time. Three girls at young ages can be very demanding and emotional. My eldest is very sensitive and requires a lot of attention. My middle child (I hate having a 'middle child'...haha) is very bousterous! They call her Crystal the Pistol, and when she hasn't had a nap...OMG! Everything is loud and whiney and obnoxious (like 3 secs ago because her sister wanted a toy...) The baby is easy right now, but give her a month and we will have to rechild proof everything, and she will be exploring it all at every chance she gets.
I have horrible days when I just want to crawl up in a corner and go back to bed because they are attacking me from all sides with 100 gazzilion questions and needs and this and that, but I don't and can't, so I stick it out and take a few deep breaths and remember, I brought them here...it's my job to care for them and teach them and respect that these are my 'duties' as a mother.
I have to admit, my biggest help, is my very understanding husband. He comes home from work somedays playing my Knight in Shining Armor. He takes a few mins to enjoy being home, then gives me a break if I need it. I get to go out once a week to bellydance classes, used to be twice for another class. We take turns being able to sleep in on the weekends and he doesn't bite my head off if I haven't done anything cuz I've had a bad day and didn't want to.
Is this an ad to have kids though? No! Its just my opinion and experience as a parent. I like talking about it, and I love talking to people who wonder what its like and question do they really want to have kids. It's a struggle and 18 years min. of 25hr/8day/366day work. But in my simple opinion, so far is it worth it? For me it is, yes. Do the people that I know that have had planned pregnancies felt it was worth it? Yes. Even those you haven't really planned it but wanted it...yes. But will anyone be able to tell YOU if you're ready...nope! Do you ever feel ready...NOT IN THE LEAST! But do you make it work...absolutely! You find a way to make ends meet and then do it.
Being a parent is all in perception. If you perceive yourself as not being ready...you won't be. If you perceive yourself as doing a 'bad' job, or not being 'good' enough, you never will be. But if you face it head on and remind youself you are doing everything you can to the best of your abilities...then you will. I know, I've done it both ways. I am very proud of my children and proud to be their Mom.
I also have the want to have another one...in a couple years...maybe. Hubby thinks I'm crazy beause I do lose my mind with the three I have already, but what can I say...I love being pregnant! That's an awesome feeling, and one I can't describe.
Again, I respect those of you who have chosen to not have kids. I have friends who have made the same decision, they thought I was going to say the normal...well you just don't understand, having kids is great! But that's not how I feel, it's a choice and a big one and more people should be as awesome as you to think about it first! It is a crazy world we live it, and I miss those days when I could do whatever I wanted and party and enjoy my life as ME! not as Mom. But soon enough, for me, the kids will be grown and by that time, I will still only be in my 40's and will have the $$ to afford doing all those things in 'style' hehe.