Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My biological clock... or is it a time bomb?

hunnychile · 10-09-2006, 10:01 AM

As an older tfp lady, I have to admit that I always swore I didn't want kids for lots of reasons - one mainly was that I was too immature even at 30 and also my hub said he didn't want them ever. We were both from very disfunctional families. Fast forward many years...all our friends have kids. They all seem happy (tired & busy all the time). My clock started going off gang busters as I approached the magical age of 38. I felt unfulfilled as a woman because I never had a baby. Almost like it's the main reason women exist & it's a honor. And when you really adore your hubby, isn't it natural to want little ones to carry on your legacy? I dunno... Secretly I planned to get preggers and just act surprised and play the Oops card. Well, guess what? I never got pregnant. Not that we didn't make love often. Maybe I knew he'd be upset or maybe he was shooting blanks, I didn't know why I wasn't getting pregnant. Depression set in big time. I carried that burden alone for many years while wishin inside I had a child to love and raise. More years passed & I realize the window has closed totally for me. I'm still married but not very happy at all. So now I volunteer teach at a local Sunday school to get my "kid" time. My advice to any of you considering getting pregnant...talk honestly to your SO/hub/lover. Don't wait until it's too late and you have regrets like I do. Had I married a baby-lovin' man we'd have made or adopted two by now and they'd be part of my happy home & life. Think long & truthfully...hunnychile

p.s. I'm currently looking to get a puppy.

10-09-2006, 10:01 AM	#22 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	As an older tfp lady, I have to admit that I always swore I didn't want kids for lots of reasons - one mainly was that I was too immature even at 30 and also my hub said he didn't want them ever. We were both from very disfunctional families. Fast forward many years...all our friends have kids. They all seem happy (tired & busy all the time). My clock started going off gang busters as I approached the magical age of 38. I felt unfulfilled as a woman because I never had a baby. Almost like it's the main reason women exist & it's a honor. And when you really adore your hubby, isn't it natural to want little ones to carry on your legacy? I dunno... Secretly I planned to get preggers and just act surprised and play the Oops card. Well, guess what? I never got pregnant. Not that we didn't make love often. Maybe I knew he'd be upset or maybe he was shooting blanks, I didn't know why I wasn't getting pregnant. Depression set in big time. I carried that burden alone for many years while wishin inside I had a child to love and raise. More years passed & I realize the window has closed totally for me. I'm still married but not very happy at all. So now I volunteer teach at a local Sunday school to get my "kid" time. My advice to any of you considering getting pregnant...talk honestly to your SO/hub/lover. Don't wait until it's too late and you have regrets like I do. Had I married a baby-lovin' man we'd have made or adopted two by now and they'd be part of my happy home & life. Think long & truthfully...hunnychile p.s. I'm currently looking to get a puppy. __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB Last edited by hunnychile; 10-09-2006 at 10:10 AM..