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This guy is total scum and you should leave him and take the kids.
You have a responsibility to yourself and your children to raise them in a healthy home and how to respect each other. Kids aren't as niave as some might think and they're going to know if something is wrong with Mommy and Daddy. They are young now, they will learn to get over a devorce. I don't think there's any reason at all why you should stay with him. Even if you tried an open marriage... is it a marriage or just two adults who share a bank account, house and car payments? If he has been a liar all this time who's to say what else he's done behind your back before this woman came into the picture, and how can you predict his future behaviour. He has manipulated you to come back and who knows how he might manipulate your children as well.
You should get out as soon as you can. Contact a lawyer and get it done. He doesn't deserve to be with someone who is obviously very caring and considerate. Cut him out of the picture and move forward with your life
just my opinion
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"A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote
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