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I know we're not getting the whole story. Tough to write out 4 years of history. But nothing in your post gave me the feeling like she has any respect for you. And for that matter, it looks like you treated her with a fair bit of disrespect over that time as well.
You may think you love each other. But really, have you guys honestly made the effort to put the other person first? You going out drinking and staying out late, her seeing other people behind your back (and seeing you behind old boyfriend's back)? Doesn't sound like true love to me.
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