Rohwer

My mind is so wrapped around my ex girlfriend of 4 years.. well im a guy so we round 3 yr 9 mos. I dated this girl for what seemed like forever. I was sending money to a secondary account to save up for a ring to buy her. I know she is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.

A few years back things went into a slump and we were hanging on because we were living together and it seemed like one bad problem happened after another. ie car wreck, credit cards, she lost her job, etc. Times progressivly got better and then it plateaued. I sensed things weren't going too well and being drunk one night i broke up with her. The next morning i told her i was sorry and I dont know what i was thinking. We dated for a long time after that and i made some other drunken decisions, staying out late, not coming home but i never cheated on her or anything huge.

Well about 3 months ago she gets a job at a bar and she makes good money and always hung out with her work buddies. Well, i got suspisious and called her on it and one night she wouldnt tell me where she was. So i broke up with her and she didnt want to be with me. We lived together for one more month and at that time i found out she was dating a guy from her work, while living with me and while tleling me she loved me and she needed her space. She then moved back into her moms and I moved in with a buddy. She then told me she was single and we started to hang out again and she told me i was the one she could see herself growing old with and she loved me.

Well i send her a text message saying call me later. And i get a phone call back with her number. Turns out it's "Mike", her recent ex, saying they never broke up and wanting to get the inside scoop on what she was doing. Well she was dating him and seeing and screwing me. He then dumped her and i went and helped her through the crying. She asked me to call him and tell him she was a good person... to which i said hell no.

The problem is I am in love with her, to the end and she constently tells me she loves me and wants to be with me forever some day but wants to live now.

I am usually a strong guy and have a tough time letting people in but i let her in and now I am completly confused.

Any advice would be helpful.... sorry for the long post.... This problem is always on my mind...

thanks.

Jarrod